• Wed, Jan 12 2011

Bad in Bed With David DeAngelo

Welcome to Bad in Bed, where we discuss sex and relationship advice that we don’t want, and the people we don’t want it from. Today’s subject is David DeAngelo.

Ladies, I have to be fair here. I’ve been known to be pleasantly surprised by the advice doled out on AskMen.com. For instance, their tips for being communicative and enthusiastic during sex.

But right now, there’s a grievous offense going on over there at the hands of one David DeAngelo, who’s doling out advice that might make you vomit up your morning danish.

DeAngelo, a self-proclaimed “dating and seduction expert,” has a basic philosophy that women are attracted to men’s behavior, and by that token, men who “make fun of attractive women, bust on them right out of the gate, as long as it was always done in a very smart, funny and charming way.”

Sounds like a guy you want to meet, huh? On the website, DeAngelo advises men to do the following, a technique he calls “Cocky and Funny”:

1- Make an arrogant comment.

2- Add humor to make it funny instead of lame and obnoxious.
Here’s my classic example: Let’s say you’re walking down the street with a woman and she says, “Wow, I really like those shoes in the window.” You answer, “You would.” Or if  you’re talking to a woman who’s wearing four-inch heels, you say, “What are you, four feet tall without the shoes?”

Basically, you’re saying things that are funny while being a bit arrogant at the same time. But best of all, while it’s obvious that you’re making fun of her, it’s not exactly clear what you mean. This creates interest and intrigue as she tries to “figure you out.”

As a woman, this makes me want to slap the shit out of both DeAngelo and any guy who tries it. I like funny men as much as the next gal, and I also appreciate someone who can spar with me. But I don’t consider it to be sparring when someone just takes any chance he can get to say something mean with the hopes of “piquing my interest.”

You know what’s piqued in that situation? My belief that you are a douchebag.

This also smacks of men who want to put women down in order to prove that they’re not afraid of us. But the way to do that is by talking to us like adults, and behaving like an adult yourself. DeAngelo’s tactics are none of those things.

Ladies, if you see a man you know reading any of this kind of advice, knock the computer or the book out of his hands. For the good of all womankind.

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  • Sneha Polisetti

    While I like being teased in a smart, charming, funny, witty way because it’s flirty and fun. The response “you would” isn’t smart, charming, funny or witty…it’s just…douchebag

  • Lilit Marcus

    That sounds like he’s just rephrasing some of the advice in those pick-up artist books. Which makes him bad in bed AND a hack.

  • Christian

    @Lilit Markus

    David DeAngelo is one of the leading publishers of Pickup books.

    Cocky Comedy is not about being mean. If the women isn´t laughing you are doing it wrong.
    It works quite well. But Pick up is a whole concept, this is just one tool.

  • John

    This has obviously been taken out of context and like Christian said this is just one tool that a PUA uses. If he uses it right, the object of his affection will have no idea whatsoever, and will continue to be infatuated with this mystery man who seems to have come from out of nowhere to sweep her off her feet. The purpose of using these “tools” is to turn the woman’s tactics (dating games) against her and even the playing field. I don’t generally give advice that isn’t asked for directly, but as the ignorance in this article is OVERWHELMING I must. You shouldn’t write about things you know absolutely nothing about. If you really wanted to make a point, or what you should be doing, helping someone out, you would have researched the subject a little more thoroughly & given your female readers some tips on how to identify & avoid these types of men. That’s all DeAngelo is doing, giving men advice on how to identify the types of women and which pick-up tactics work with which ones. Some things work with some women, other things work with the others. All women play games with the men they are dating, this is just one of those things that helps to even the playing field. Men have been led to believe by society that women want “nice guys” but what most women are attracted to physically is a “bad boy”. David DeAngelo has exposed this, Deal With It.

    P.S. If anybody, female or not, ever knocked a computer or book out of my hands for any reason, it would be the end of that person’s physical ability to interact with humanity/society forever. For the sake of all womankind, do not believe yourself to be that high-and-mighty. And if you are with a man weak enough to let you get away with something that childish and stupid, LEAVE HIM! Do you both a huge favor and LEAVE HIM RIGHT NOW! Besides, what is that saying about you if you feel that much of a need to be in control.

    • Diana

      Dear John,

      Concerning your P.S., are you at the lower end of the IQ scale and cannot recognise a joke? The point was to try to get men not to take silly advice from DeAngelo. Obviously, the literally knocking of things from a person’s hands is socially unacceptable, but the way I see it, the expression was used to imply the importance of the act, having a humorous effect at the same time.

      As for opinions on the advice, everyone is entitled to one. And Jessica thinks it’s stupid. I tend to agree with her. This is our opinion. You think it’s the best thing since the wheel. There’s no need to be snappy about it. You Deal With This!

  • Brandon

    Basically John, she tried to be Cocky-Funny with you, and it went right over your head.

    As for this article, I’d say I can agree with you. Women love fun, chocolate, shoes, and laughter. As you said, sparring is fine but playing these counter-dating game games is stupid. I think PUA’s can help with men who are more apprehensive with girls in the “being comfortable with you, and you around girls” department. But as for their actual (conflicting and varying) advice, most any guy can go to a bar and toy around with a drunk girl. Act fake and player-ish and get immature, brainless girls. Starting to connect the dots, guys?

  • Brent

    David Deangelo is a GENIUS when it comes to attracting women. He’s doing the world a huge favor for men all over by giving all you girls some guy that is interesting! A guy that doesn’t do all the same shit by buying you roses and chocolates and MANIPULATING you in the long run, to try to gain YOUR approval and be a needy wuss. It isn’t what YOU want! He teaches guys to not be used by a woman by giving them gifts and in the long run not manipulating women in any way. And teach guys to NOT hope to gain approval from a woman. Which a guy DOES NOT need, AT ALL. If you still believe he’s just one of the many douche bags, with his art of cocky comedy then you all haven’t taken the time and effort to truly study what it truly creates! There are countless women out there who thank him for taking the time to create programs and ideas like this because it gives hope for women that they’re men out there who will act like REAL men and not chase after women. E-mail him, he’ll tell you all about it

    • TheNameless

      Nutswinging much? lol

      1) I already knew not to seek validation from women, shower them with my attention, and just generally didn’t spend time I didn’t have or need to waste on a woman’s approval.

      2) From a young age, like playground days, I teased girls I liked because it’s just how I and many other guys do. You need some “PUA guru” to get your money and teach you that? Seems like YOU are the one needing lessons in “real man stuff”, my friend.

  • Michael

    Jessica reveals herself to be another type of woman men often talk about: the “Toxic Woman”

    • Daniel

      Oh, please, this comment is so muddleheaded. Would you like to hang around with men that try to prop themselves up by making fun of you? “toxic women,” LMAO.