I don’t want this to just read “fuck all of you, I’m going back to bed,” so I’m going to type some other stuff here. Here are some of the things I think upon showing up to a deserted office building:
1) Maybe it is Saturday. But it’s not. THAT WAS 2 DAYS AGO.
2) Maybe there was a virus that swept through the office and everyone is dead.
3) Maybe the apocalypse has begun. Did I see people on the streets coming here?
4) Maybe those people were zombies.This is how every zombie movie starts.
5) Maybe the apocalypse originated in this office building. Maybe I’m a zombie. Zombies always return to the places they love.
6) Really? This is it? This is where I’d come? To take care of the rat problem and do fashion from beyond the grave?
Then Ashley came in because she forgot, too, and explained that it was MLK Day. Good thing I didn’t eat her brain or the Golden Globes coverage would be super-limited today!
Also, happy Martin Luther King Day.