• Tue, Jan 18 2011

Things You Can Totally Get Away With Doing After a Breakup

Over at The Frisky, our friend Jessica Wakeman has compiled a list of things it’s totally OK to do following a breakup, including donating all the gifts he gave you to Goodwill, listening to angry riot grrrl music, and calling your friends multiple times per day. Not only do we agree with her list, we have a few things to add.

  • Drinking alone.
  • Drinking with other people.
  • Drinking every night.
  • Flirting inappropriately.
  • Buying that really expensive bag you’ve had your eye on and justifying it by saying you won’t have to buy your ex a birthday present this year.
  • Defriending him on Facebook.
  • Telling all your friends how bad he was in bed, then claiming you were drunk and don’t remember saying it.
  • Sleeping with one of his friends.
  • Sending all his stuff back to him via a slow boat to China.
  • Posting super sexy pictures of yourself on Facebook (if you haven’t defriended him already).
  • Drinking more.
  • Smoking a couple of cigarettes even though you quit two years ago.
  • Singing Meredith Brooks’ “Bitch” at karaoke.
Share This Post:
  • Lindsay Cross

    My first step post-breakup is deleting his number out of my phone. Immediately. Then, once I’ve started all that drinking, there’s less of a chance that I’ll start leaving murder-messages on his voicemail.

  • marissa

    YESYESYES!! This is awesome. And after I had my BIG breakup, I think I did many of these things (especially those that involve smoking and drinking). Except he was the one who shipped me back all of my stuff. He also told me he packed it strategically so that I’d have to go through memories of our life together. At that point, I threw the box in the basement and forgot about it.

  • Claire

    Well, I’m the one that ended it, so does all this still apply?

  • sad_chick

    don’t agree with drinking alone? coz it’s so sad to drink without talking to anyone.. :) but drinking a lot with friends is a good idea…!!! that’s what im doing right now; ) cry and laugh while drinking!!!

  • Paige

    Drink and fuck everything. Then tell him you have fallen completely in love. I think thats the thing that hurts them, especially if the two of you were pretty committed. I told my husband once that the thing I would do to get him back if we broke up was fall in love with someone else, and he said “Well…yeah, that would be the worst thing you can do to hurt me.” Fuck yes.