Shut Up Vogue: Catherine Middleton and Arizona Muse Edition

We love Vogue. But even things we love can sometimes be ridiculous. In this new feature, we’ll catalogue the most eye-rolling moments from America’s fashion bible.


The cover contained two things that merited cries of  “Shut Up, Vogue!” The first was Kristen Stewart’s face. Despite being in huge blockbuster movies, Stewart is boring and can’t emote. It’s really shitty that Proenza Schouler finally got clothes on the cover of Vogue but they had to be on Kristen Stewart. The accompanying interview is equally annoying, but we’ll get to that part later.


The headline “Catherine Middleton and Prince William.” STOP TRYING TO MAKE CATHERINE HAPPEN.


Did you guys know that Lauren Bush and David Lauren got engaged? Vogue devoted two entire sentences on page 134 to the news. Although the article is ostensibly about the two Lauren engagements, breathy quotes from Dylan Lauren about how she is the first person in the history of the world to get engaged and how her Daddy is making her OMGWEDDINGDRESS for her evidently required many more column inches. Plus, there’s no Lauren Lauren joke.


Anna Wintour also gushes about “Catherine Middleton” in her editor’s letter. We get it. You’re British.


Contributors section. Australian actress Teresa Palmer, whom I have never heard of, says her style icons are Kate Bosworth and Rachel Bilson. In other news, Teresa Palmer just got a check in the mail from Rachel Bilson’s publicist. Oh, so I checked imdb and Teresa Palmer was in The Grudge 2. Must have missed that one.


“I think the image of Prince William and Catherine Middleton hugging shows the human side of royals.” – Mario Testino

“I think you people need to cool it with the fucking Catherines.” – Lilit Marcus

Share This Post:
    • Eileen

      Considering Prince William is now almost 30, calling him by a nickname his mother gave him when he was a baby seems way more inappropriate than referring to his fiancee by her full given name.

    • Kat

      Bwahaha, the Catherine part made me laugh. Like you said, it isn’t going to happen.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      I feel like we should come up with a cutesier name than Kate and call her that exclusively.

    • Elizabeth Adao

      Actually, I have read that “Kate” is what the media started calling her, and that she prefers Catherine.

    • Maya

      hehehe, I love the part about KStew… What is the fucking deal with this girl and that I can’t go to the mall business. boo effin hoo… As you said, standig around and blinking!