TheGloss’s List Of Appropriate Euphemisms For ‘Penis’

Glamour Magazine has a really fun section on what women call their boyfriend’s penis. Here’s one woman’s response:

“I call his thing ‘Rockin Robin’ because one day in the shower, I grabbed it and started singing ‘Rockin’ Robin’ using it as a mike.”

Huh.

So.

That woman is a psychopath.

Anyhow!

Here are some things you can call your man’s penis. Don’t worry! We would never limit your creativity!

A penis.

“It”

A dick.

A cock (we are frankly divided on this one, but we think it depends on who you are.)

Pork sword.

Okay, that’s all. Emily Post out.

Share This Post:
    • Allison

      I am 100% sure my significant other would be petrified with terror if I ever sang into his penis. I also think referencing the song later, as a name for his penis, would cause him to suffer terrible PTS.

    • ALS

      Allison, I absolutely agree. I am highly disturbed that someone would even consider doing that.

    • Eileen

      Anyone else remember reading “Forever” and being totally grossed out by the fact that Katherine called Michael’s penis Ralph?

    • L

      I can’t decide if that’s psychopathic or awesome.

      Like, I really can’t. That’s not good.

    • Somnilee

      A highschool boyfriend jokingly called his “Mr. Happy”
      Personally, I prefer the word cock, but have been known to use the phrase “What’s your preferred term for male genitalia? Well, whatever it is, you have a nice one.”

    • Lobo

      Lipstick Dipstick