Facebook Language for Moms

Lately, I’ve noticed some of my friends who are moms curbing their language on Facebook. It usually happens when their kids are around two — a.k.a., old enough for them to have had a mishap in which their little cherub drops the f-bomb, and they realize that there’s only one way they could have learned that kind of language.

Anyway, it’s sort of amusing to watch my friends turn into real-life parents, not just people with adorable little 10-pound accessories that cry and sleep and shit. Here are a few words and phrases that could indicate that you, too, are going mom*:

  1. Goodness!
  2. LMBO (instead of LMAO)
  3. Oh my!
  4. What the heck?
  5. Worried sick.
  6. Isn’t he adorable. (note the use of a period instead of a question mark at the end of this sentence)
  7. Gosh
  8. Ouchie!
  9. Oh noes.
  10. Tushy

*At least half of this list was lifted directly from a cursory scan of my friends’ Facebook pages, right at this moment. I couldn’t make most of this shit up.

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    • Lindsay Cross

      A childless friend of mine overheard me discussing private vs. public school. She looked at me in horror and said, “Oh my God, why are you worried about school?” I told her that I needed to sign Brenna up for pre-school in the fall. Her response was, “Wow, you just hit a whole new level of motherhood. You just aged by about 10 years…”

    • Patch

      Seriously? Two-year-olds say “fuck” now?

      • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

        Yes, it’s considered an important part of their development.