• Sat, Jan 22 2011

Facebook Language for Moms

Lately, I’ve noticed some of my friends who are moms curbing their language on Facebook. It usually happens when their kids are around two — a.k.a., old enough for them to have had a mishap in which their little cherub drops the f-bomb, and they realize that there’s only one way they could have learned that kind of language.

Anyway, it’s sort of amusing to watch my friends turn into real-life parents, not just people with adorable little 10-pound accessories that cry and sleep and shit. Here are a few words and phrases that could indicate that you, too, are going mom*:

  1. Goodness!
  2. LMBO (instead of LMAO)
  3. Oh my!
  4. What the heck?
  5. Worried sick.
  6. Isn’t he adorable. (note the use of a period instead of a question mark at the end of this sentence)
  7. Gosh
  8. Ouchie!
  9. Oh noes.
  10. Tushy

*At least half of this list was lifted directly from a cursory scan of my friends’ Facebook pages, right at this moment. I couldn’t make most of this shit up.

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  • Lindsay Cross

    A childless friend of mine overheard me discussing private vs. public school. She looked at me in horror and said, “Oh my God, why are you worried about school?” I told her that I needed to sign Brenna up for pre-school in the fall. Her response was, “Wow, you just hit a whole new level of motherhood. You just aged by about 10 years…”

  • Patch

    Seriously? Two-year-olds say “fuck” now?

    • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

      Yes, it’s considered an important part of their development.