• Wed, Jan 26 2011

The Misanthropologist: Concerning Enrique Iglesias, Or: Tonight I’m F*ckin Truth

This past holiday was really something special for The Misanthropologist.

I wanted to share my account of what happened but it’s taken me a few weeks to really process what happened, to internalize it. The event was not necessarily traumatic, but it left me changed. It took from me something I can never recover but in turn gave me something greater.

It was this (NSFW if your workplace hates artistic expression).

That’s right. Enrique Iglesias released a song entitled “Tonight (I’m F*ckin’ You),” and it destroyed everything I know and understand about pop music and sexuality and ethics and gender roles and melody… while simultaneously building up a new and magnificent fortress of knowledge in its still-smoldering wake. Moreover, the music video is a poetic elucidation of the hero’s journey and has nipple.

If you’re at work you can see the shameful edited version here. But let me just say that changing “Tonight (I’m F*ckin’ You)” to “Tonight (I’m Loving You)” would be like fiddling with Madame X’s bra straps or drawing dicks on the walls at Lascaux, which I have done and is not half as satisfying as you’d expect. It’s just not the same, the emotional punch is pulled and when he warms, “Please excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude…” it feels toothless, dispassionate.

After you’ve watched the video and your life is changed, you can actually enter a contest to win THREE NIGHTS OF EUPHORIA IN MIAMI BEACH WITH ENRIQUE IGLESIAS. I’m imploring you to enter it because 1) I don’t do well with direct sunlight, 2) since in some way I’m employed by TheGloss I cannot enter this contest and thus experience THREE EUPHORIC NIGHTS WITH ENRIQUE IGLESIAS and 3) I’m starting to worry they’re gonna take a finger, so I really can’t push it by entering the contest anyway. Or a toe.

But what I can do is watch this video hundreds of times by myself. Here I’ve created a slideshow detailing the plot of this opus, which I think proves to be a helpful companion piece and one that expands (however humbly) on the manifold allusions to classical myth. It is a richly woven tapestry. The slideshow is safe for work, but may threaten nearby colleagues with its outrageous elegance.

What We're Reading:
Share This Post:
  • Jennifer Wright

    What if she’d said “studying a broad?” Would that not have fit just as well?

  • L

    Oh. Is that what happened? All I got from the video was “sex sex sex look how sexy the pop industry is.”

  • Sara y bf kasandra

    Papasito de enrique te amo

  • by nana

    wow he is super hotttttttttttttttttttttttt i wan to lick his stomach <3

  • Chompaa

    SEXY HAHAHAH

  • Ely

    wow sooo hottt!!!!!!!!!!He is the best

  • roksana

    his music:tonight & heart beat is my favorit musics….
    i reeellly love hhimmmm..

  • Janna

    This is the laziest song I have ever heard. You’d have thought that with the subject matter on hand, the lyrics would be something better than “If I never lied then baby you’d be the truth”. Pulleeze.

    Then there’s the chorus, which is just this fool repeating the title over and over and over again.

    The best part of the song is the rap, and that ain’t Enrique.

    Sad. Just sad.

  • jiraf

    YES.
    That just sent me on a google enrique iglesias shirtless rampage. At work.
    Tonight I’m f*cking truth… yeah right. I WISH. Liar.