Poll: Do You Care How Many People Your Partner Has Slept With? TheGloss

In sitting down to write this, I briefly considered revealing to you the number of people that I’ve slept with, in an effort to brazenly demonstrate that the number doesn’t matter.

But then I thought about it some more, and decided against it. So to answer my own question, as posed above, I suppose that in the context of the world at large, it does matter, because whether we want to or not we all harbor a little bit of judgment about whores and virgins, and I, for one, don’t really want to open myself up to that.

But I think that in the context of the person you’re dating, the number doesn’t really matter, as long as a couple other things are present: an understanding of your own sexual past, why you did the things you did and what you learned from them, an idea of what you want sexually from your current relationship, and obviously, STD tests.

So if your number is 50, what was going on during the time you were boning with abandon? Was it for the joy of it, or was it for another reason? If it’s one, what happened there? And if it’s zero…well, why?

What do you think?

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

Krystal

< 10, really? Yikes I'm upwards of 50.
- Ms. Pants
  
  Amen sista. Wanna go get a beer and share war stories?
- sophie
  
  Can I have a beer with you guys? I don’t know my number, don’t think I even have a really good guess. I had about 5 years of “reckless abandon” from which I don’t remember all the names. After that–serial monogamy all the way. If anyone wanted my number at my age (45), I think it would be a deal breaker. I just don’t think it matters as long as STD status and current behaviors are accurately discussed.
- Senior Pantos
  
  I would love to meet you guys, share war stories, have sex with you (seems like it would be a sure thing) and then never talk to you again. :-) Then I’d find a nice girl to marry.
Jo

Yeah, i’m surprised you chose 10 as the poll number. Me and my current boyfriend both have a number of 5 but that’s pretty coincidental, and we’re fairly young. My friends numbers tend to vary between 4-25 (and counting). Generally, I feel like if you know the person isn’t a sleeze bag, then a higher number just means they’ve had more experiences (and lets face it sexual experiences can be very varying), which is pretty cool.
matbo

My boyfriend was a virgin when I met him and we’ve both practically only slept with each other. I must admit it makes me feel really special that he was holding out for love before he had sex (though when he finally met me he was ripe and ready to go!), but I don’t think I’d care if he’d had 40 lovers. Then he’d just be more experienced and I’d be honored that after all those other partners he still chose me.

But then again I tend to look for the silver lining in most things.
L

As long as they aren’t diseased there’s nothing wrong with it. They’re sleeping with me now, right?
Somnilee

Given that my current number is 3, including the guy I’m sleeping with now, I can’t see how that would matter to him. But I assume his number is higher than that, though thankfully I know no names or scores. I don’t really mind because I know he’s clean, and that I’m the one he’s seeing at the moment. And, as someone else stated above: more experience = more tricks to teach me, right?
Beverly

yeah 10 seems like a pretty low number for that poll…unless you’re like..19-22? because really as soon as 25 hits, it only takes that you’ve had a couple/few longer relationships, a few dating experiences that didn’t go nowhere, one-two one-night-stands after a horrible breakup and BAM. ten.
but to answer the question…nope, me and my bf have never really talked about numbers, it’s more important to know if the person is std-free and committed to the relationship! :)
Ms. Pants

Come sit by me, Krystal. I keep an excel spreadsheet. (It was easier than trying to recreate the list whenever I lost that damn piece of paper–I write about them so I need to be able to keep track.)

I never have the numbers talk with my bedfellows. I have a standard set of questions that, if answered in the affirmative are dealbreakers:
– Are you a virgin? (I want someone who knows what they’re doing and I do not what the responsibility of a V-card at age 35)
– Do you have any STDs? (Um, cos I don’t and would like to remain that way.)
– Are you currently sleeping with anyone else? (not necessarily a deal breaker, but if s/he is, I need to know if it’s kosher with ALL parties involved.)

I don’t disclose my numbers and I don’t ask for theirs.
Jenny

I think that the why behind the number matters more than the number itself… I personally think sex is something special – quality over quantity – and would like my partner to feel the same way.
If they had a habit of sleeping with anyone and everyone indiscriminately it would bother me more than a high number from a string of mostly meaningful relationships.
Sharonica

Yes, I’ve been to bachelorette parties where party games force the bride to reveal numbers in the 30+ region. 10? What? From ages 16-25, that gives you one per YEAR.
Eileen

Short answer, no, as long as he hasn’t caught anything (happens at one just as easily as at thirty).

Long answer, if he’s Don Giovanni – you know, 1003 in Spain alone – I have to admit that that would disturb me. Averaging more than one a month since your first means you might have a problem…and if that makes me judgmental, I accept the label.
Leah

I’m glad to read that others thought 10 was a weird number for this poll! I don’t like to talk numbers with a guy I’m sleeping with, because let’s be real, popular theory says that a women will cut her number in half and a guy will double his. And I don’t really want to know how many people my guy has slept with, and if he really dragged it out of me, I would probably lie. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but it’s the truth.
Jennifer Wright

I’m with Ms. Pants – I never share my number with partners. Because it’s private. That said, I assume everyone in the world has had 8 partners. Like, exactly 8. Everyone. Priests, geriatrics, 15 year olds on MTV television shows, everyone.
Paige M.

To be completely honest, if you didn’t want your sexual past to come into light, you shouldn’t have done it. My husband has had sex with over 20 women and I myself have been with 8 men, including my husband. You wanted it at the time, and you shouldn’t be ashamed.
Susan Bauer

Call me a Puritan, but I’m really put off by people who have more than partners under their belts, so to speak. Perhaps my thoughts on the matter will evolve, since I’m still in the 18-24 age range. I’ve had a few experiences with both sexes. Yet as a woman myself, I think all men really care about is the number of men I’ve slept with. To avoid the dreaded label of “tramp,” I hold back with men, but I’m very open with women. Fancy accounting to accommodate the ancient double standard.