So, Kate Middleton left her job. She works for her family’s party planning company and quit shortly after becoming engaged. How do we feel about this? Good? Bad? Indifferent? Let’s find out!
Rational Jen: So. Quitting your job to get married. That seems a little 1965, no?
Asshole Jen: Oh. 1965? Yeah, I think she should quit her job to become an astronaut.
Rational Jen: That wasn’t where I was going with that.
Asshole Jen: Because astronaut food sucks?
Rational Jen: No, but that’s true. Because it’s sending an outdated message to the young women of Britain. It’s not really appropriate – in this day and age – to say “hey, I’m quitting my job to plan my wedding!”
Asshole Jen: Are most women marrying the future King of England?
Rational Jen: Well, no.
Asshole Jen: Damn right they’re not, Boring Jen. That would be a harem. We don’t live in Brunei.
Rational Jen: I’m not following you.
Asshole Jen: That’s because I got off on a tangent. But, Jesus, do you like seeing political figures get shot? Even I’m not that much of an asshole.
Asshole Jen: Right. Okay, so lets say she stays on as a project manager for her family’s company. She works as a party planner. Someone calls up and says they need her to come over, to, I don’t know, plan a party, they turn out to be a lunatic, they shoot her. Now the monarchy is thrown into disarray. You think they need that? After Princess Diana?
Rational Jen: That was… a while ago.
Asshole Jen: Feels. Like. Yesterday. England really doesn’t need another national tragedy. You think Kate was just like “oh, I’ll quit to go to Princess school, gonna drink some tea?” Please. The only sane thing to do is quit.
Rational Jen: They could get security.
Asshole Jen: It would be a nightmare for them to get enough security to make it work. And there’s no way it would be profitable for the company. At all. It works when it’s kind of a stunt – like remember when Prince Philip worked as a coal miner?
Rational Jen: In the 40′s? How old are you?
Asshole Jen: 96. Not the point. He had security. It was done for a month. Major precautions were taken to make sure he was going to be fine. Those precautions aren’t taken for Kate for Kate to continue party planning, and they probably can’t be on a permanent basis.
Rational Jen: Chelsea Clinton works.
Asshole Jen: Huh. I guess that’s because she’s the daughter of an ex-president as opposed to royalty.
Rational Jen: But wouldn’t that have been a problem up to this point? Like, if she’d gotten kidnapped or shot, that would have been bad, right? We all know who she is. It’s not like the relationship between her and Wills was really a secret. It would have been bad.
Asshole Jen: Real talk, Boring Jen. It would have been different. Prince William would have shown up to the funeral, and we all would have been like “wow, why does Prince William have to have such a hard life?” Prince William’s girlfriend would be dead. It would have been sad. It would have been, real, real, sad. But there is a different between “real, real sad” and “another national tragedy.”
Rational Jen: Huh. I think you were the more rational one in this argument. Good points.
Asshole Jen: Will you let us enroll in astronaut school now? I still want to go.