Rahm Emanuel is My Celebrity Crush

You can have your effete Brad Pitts, your dark and tortured Javier Bardems (…OK, I’d fuck Javier Bardem too), your childlike-with-wonderment James Franco.

My celebrity crush is Rahm Emanuel. Here’s why:

  1. He’s one powerful Jew. (I’m a Jew too. Stop judging.)
  2. He just told an appellate court to go fuck themselves without having to say a word.
  3. He roasted Stephen Colbert.
  4. He shovels snow for old ladies.
  5. “I sometimes joke, Paula, even paranoid people have enemies.” — to news anchor Paula Zahn, in 2004, as if he were speaking directly to me
  6. LOOK AT THIS GUY.  He brought in Andy Samberg — who impersonates him on SNL — to campaign with him.
  7. He doesn’t give a fuck what you think, because he’s Rahm Emanuel.
  8. No, seriously. He’s one powerful Jew.
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    • Lilit Marcus

      Cosign. I love a man who can throw around a good F-bomb.

      Also, his brother is a Hollywood superagent and his other brother is a bioethicist for the NIH. What was their mother feeding them?

    • Sara

      Thank you! I’m living in Chicago, yet appear to be the only one here who is completely enamored with the man. Did you see he has a NY Times box IN HIS BASEMENT which he used to make a case that he has residency?
      Damn, it must feel good to be an Emanuel.