• Sat, Feb 5 2011

Dear Everyone, Stop Using Your Ultrasound As a Facebook Profile Photo

The other day I got a Facebook friend request. The name wasn’t familiar, so I checked the person’s profile picture to see if that would jog my memory. But instead of a picture of a person, there was a picture of an ultrasound. I don’t think I went to high school with any ultrasounds, so I should probably deny the request, right?

Plenty of my friends have kids. I like kids, as long as they’re not snotting on me or anything. But I don’t want to be friends with a fetus on Facebook. For that matter, I also don’t want to be friends with a couple making out with each other. I’m happy to be friends with two people who happen to be in a relationship with each other, but I really like individuals who each get their own picture. Posting a picture of your unborn kid and having it represent you on the internet is sort of like saying “Hi! I’m solely defined by my ability to procreate! What’s your name?”

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  • Taylor

    A picture of a fetus is annoying and weird, but a picture of a couple schnozzing is disgusting. Though your uterus is not something the world wants to see, having a kid is fun and exciting and life-changing. A picture of you kissing someone is uninteresting, kind of icky, and in my opinion, even lamer than a fetus pic.

    But they’re both ridiculous.

  • Shar

    Maybe you could do with relaxing and letting people customize their own page however they like. Surely it can’t be that much skin off your nose that someone wants to represent themselves using a photo of something they love and that means a lot to them. And also, why should your opinion have any bearing on how they choose their picture? It sounds clichéd, but maybe you need some bigger things to worry about in life, now that you’ve apparently got your perfect profile picture sorted. Well done to you…

    • Sally

      Hag.

    • Carrie

      Whoa dude – chill.

    • SusanCooper

      I don’t think she’s saying she’s perfect. She just posts a PICTURE OF HERSELF in the spot where you are supposed to put a picture of yourself. It’s not that hard.

  • RS

    Both are equally awful.

  • Lauren

    OMG I CAN’T CHOOSE!!!! They are both annoying as hell.

  • Courtney

    Neither of those bug me as much as when people have random animals or google images or celebrities as their photos. It just makes it difficult to know if you know someone when they friend request you (which I know you mentioned). Argh!

  • Devon

    So, what, dare I ask, is an appropriate picture to represent a person on fb? At different times in people’s lives they are defined by different things, IMHO. College students might have a pic of themselves in a bar, wasted with their friends – is that all they are? No, just who they happen to be now. Someone serving in the military might have a picture of themselves in uniform holding a gun – are they warmongers or just some kid trying to save some money to take care of his family? A newlywed might have a picture of themselves in their wedding dress – maybe the hopelessly bitter can find something wrong with this, but their ‘friend’s’ on fb should be happy for them, not making fun of them for having found ‘the one.’ And a new prego might have a pic of their ultrasound, because their real friends give a crap about this new chapter in their lives. Not all of us can post pictures of ourselves on some beach – we just might be the kind of people who define ourselves by something more. And I’ll never understand the point behind those people that have 1000+ ‘friends’ on facebook when you barely even know half of then. Maybe I’m just hopelessly behind the times, but if I don’t immediately recognize someone’s name in a facebook request, I can’t imagine accepting so they can virtually stalk me at their leisure.

    • SusanCooper

      Your examples are off-topic — bars, guns, wedding dresses are fine. IT SHOULD JUST HAVE YOU GODDAMN FUCKING FACE IN THE PHOTO.

  • Katie

    I knew as soon as I clicked the link that you were the author :). I had to go check if I’ve been guilty of either and it doesn’t appear that I have… I do understand where you are coming from though. You get a friend request from someone who has dropped their maiden name and now has a picture of their baby or pet as their profile pic and you have no idea who they are.
    My biggest pet peeve is the friend request from someone you never got along with to begin with followed by a message of some bs of “oh how have you been? It would be great to catch up” blah blah blah.. and all they really want to do is know who’s life sucks more :)

  • Ashley Cardiff

    unlike you, i DID go to high school with an ultrasound. guy was an asshole.

    • Taylor

      You’re the best ever. I love The Gloss so much.

  • Lizzy

    Fetus. By far. If your picture is you and your significant other making out, at least a vaguely recognizable feature of you is in the photo.

  • Amy

    I agree that the ultrasound picture is annoying. I’m cool with posting one to announce your pregnancy. (Note ONE not ten). I am also in agreement that random internet pictures, animals, etc is annoying because you don’t know who you are talking to (to me, however, pets are the most annoying of all–it’s a freaking dog people, get a life) I like having my children in my profile picture but only if i am in it too. This way, I can show off my kiddies, but people still know it is me.

    • doglover

      Dear Amy,

      While my Facebook profile photo is and has always been of my face, my yahoo messenger avatar is of my dog and I believe I have a life, a pretty good one actually.

      The point of this comment is to try to find a polite way to say that you must be a heartless bitch if you think so little of pets. Ooops… I guess I failed at that. Oh well… Anyway, just for the record, there have been so many occasions where I thought my dog was much much smarter and well behaved than some brats. Do your children always wait quietly where you tell them to and do not move even if someone asks them nicely and offers treats until you tell them it’s okay to do so? What do they do when they get separated from you? My dear Pufi would retrace the steps he took from the moment he realised he got lost and would go and look inside (but not enter, as he knew he shouldn’t) all the stores he knew we (my Dad and I) had been in. Also, should he not find us, he’d remain, again not bothering anyone, somewhere in sight where he knew we’d usually go by. I have many more examples where my Pufi acted way more intelligent than human brats. But, hey, they’re just freaking kids, what can you expect?

    • I agree with doglover

      I also would rather look at pictures of people’s dogs than their kids any day. Children are annoying, but not as annoying as their parents. Your freaking sex parts work, people. Get a life. Oh. Wait. A life is what you had before you decided to breed :-)

  • Karen

    That’s nothing-I recently defriended someone because she was using a picture of her DEAD baby as her profile pic! I am dead serious.

    • SusanCooper

      Wait, was it already dead in the photo or did it die later?

  • Jamie

    Thanks to this article, I just changed my fb profile pic. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

    • Anon

      Yes. It shouldn’t have been an ultrasound/kissing picture in the first place.

  • M

    My profile picture is my boyfriend, me, and one of our best friends [the one who introduced us]. No one’s kissing anyone; we were just all in a pile on the couch at a friend’s party and the picture is kind of adorable [yeah I'm biased]. I’m in the middle, and the only Asian one [so it's easy to match to the name], and also the only girl [even easier to match to the name]. I figure it’s okay. To keep it even simpler, I don’t friend-request anyone I don’t know reasonably well already. And almost all the new people I’ve met lately were through one of them or the other, so honestly that probably helps newish people remember who I am too.

  • Shelley

    Truly the problem with this scenario is people who try to friend people who don’t know who the fuck they are. If it’s some random person I went to highschool with that I don’t recognize by name or introduction message, I certainly don’t care if I recognize their photo. I know who my friends are. And I don’t have 752 on facebook. Or in ‘real life’. And I have a profile pic of a flute of champagne. And everyone knows it’s me. Nuf said.

  • Eileen

    An ultrasound is okay, I think, but making out definitely isn’t. My standard is “Would I show my friends this picture in real life?” Ultrasound? Yes. PDA? Only when drunk.

    If you don’t recognize the name, and there isn’t a note “By the way, my surname used to be…” or something like that, just don’t accept.

  • SusanCooper

    Are people not aware that you can post photos of anything you want on your page, without posting them as your profile photo? Fetus = on your page. YOUR HEAD = in your profile. No one is denying your right to self-expression. Seriously, when you fill out a form, do you write I LIKE ICE CREAM under “name”? Put your shit in the right place.

  • SHill

    Hahha, you ladies should check out both: http://www.stfucouples.com/ and http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/. Funniest stuff, every :)

    • SHill

      *ever.

      o, and personally I think the fetus picture just seems way too private to plaster all over Facebook.

  • MsBorgia

    Both relationships and fetuses are only interesting to the person who is devoting time, energy, and bodily fluids to them. No one else gives a shit.

  • Riavon

    I am also highly annoyed by those who use either a cartoon as their profile photo or the “Chinese symbol” of their name. I think I hate the chinese name most of all. I try to explain that it’s called “FACEbook” for a reason. Show your face, don’t hide behind some weird symbol or a cartoon character.

  • K

    I don’t much care for people putting their babies as the profile pic either. For example, a girl I went to hs with (I would say we’re acquaintance friends but not close) got married, changed her last name and had a baby in the space of a couple months. Somehow I missed these changes, and all the sudden one day “Amy Spence”, a baby, put up a status and I was like WAIT WTF I’M NOT FRIENDS WITH BABIES.

    Call me old fashioned, but I think a profile picture should include you (not making out). You and baby, fine, you and partner, fine, you and dog, fine. JUST baby/partner/dog weird.

  • Heather

    My fb profile picture is almost never a picture of me. Usually a funny comic or something, but never me, me & Hubs, or my kid. I also untag my name from any photos that my friends post. Why? I want as few random pictures of me floating around the internet as possible. I don’t want potential employers finding me on fb and I don’t want random people from my past looking for me either.

    • j

      uh, so make your profile private.

  • JR MARTINEZ

    THATS THE MOST STUPID ARTICLE … WHO CARES WHO POST WHAT PIC ON FACEBOOK?…BESIDES, AS PUBLIC AS THAT CAN BE EVERYBODY IS ENTITLED TO PUT THERE ANY PHOTO THEY LIKE, THATS A PRIVATE ISSUE, THERE ARE NOT RULES ABOUT IT….IS MY BUSSINESS IF I PUT MY DAD’S CASKET PICTURE…

    • Ella

      No one is saying you should’t be allowed to post dumb stuff on your profile pic– just that you are an idiot if you do. Also, FYI, there is a button on the left hand side of the keyboard that you can push so your letters return to normal. I believe it’s called ‘caps lock’.

    • Brian

      WHY ARE YOU YELLING? TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK, OR GET YOUR DEAD DAD TO DO IT, THERE IS NO RULE ABOUT WHO SHOULD TURN IT OFF.

  • marissa

    I can’t believe people are so passionate about this one way or the other–and not just passionate, but truly angry! At first i was completely on board being anti-sonogram and anti-makeout, and then i just thought…who really cares?

    Facebook’s newsfeed is making us sick of each other to the point where you can’t even feel joy for someone. i have more than half of my “friends” blocked on my facebook b/c they annoy me with multiple updates per day and constant baby talk and “iloveyousomuch” marking their territory on their significant other’s wall.

    But now I’m starting to realize it’s me who has the problem. If someone is happy and posting a picture because they’re excited, give them a break. If you’re really going to think they’re an idiot for doing this, you NEED to delete them off of your facebook because YOU’RE not their friend.

  • UKU

    the trouble with ultrasounds is that they can be anyone/everyone’s baby. and i know friends who have lost pregnancies and they are like looking at a ghost of their baby. mainly i am just annoyed that facebook has become about “bragging” i am happily married but many of my friends are not so i never FB that i had a nice valentine’s or that my hubby is amazing. one day, my news feed had two “rest in peace” notices and one person in between those updates was bragging about being on an expensive vacation. the dichotomy is amplified and disturbing on facebook.

  • Honest Jenna

    I find ultrasound pics to be in terrible taste. It’s an invasion of a sacred space. The baby isn’t even in the world yet and you’re posting pics of it on the internet? You will be incredibly selfish parents (and you’ll never realize it). Please allow what is sacred to remain so.

    • danny

      I couldn’t agree more!

  • alexis

    oh shut up yal sound hella dumb . worry about your own it aint you thats doing it so why worry about what they doing .