• Mon, Feb 7 2011

First Date In A Weird Place: Strip Club

Her take: About four hours before I went to Scores, I went to my pilates class. It’s usually just twenty or so women, but it was one of those days where one dude had decided to come in. I resented him for being there. Not because he was doing anything wrong. He seemed nice, he was just grunting, and using the 15 pound weights when everyone else was using 5, and generally dragging his maleness around all over the place, and it was irritating – because honestly, I just want to be schlumpy and wear sweatpants when I’m doing pilates and not worry about the opposite sex.

And then I realized, “Oh, God. Going into Scores for their Superbowl party, I’m going to be like that one dude in the pilates class. All the guys there are going to hate me just for being there.”

But it actually wasn’t like that! I don’t think! I hope not!

At the very least, it seemed like there were lots of other women in there. They weren’t strippers. They were just watching the game, maybe with male friends or associates. There were booths and tables, and Scores pretty much felt like a normal club. The whole place was much less intimidating and more female-friendly than I expected it to be.

Especially since when we walked in, no one was stripping. The manager explained to me (I think I must have looked crushed by the lack of stripping) that the dancers were around, and they’d be performing when the halftime show came on. I kept looking around and trying to tell who was a stripper. This meant that Colin and I could play a guessing game called “stripper or sassy dresser?” which is sort of like a grown up “Where’s Waldo?”

Colin seemed really nice – and he seemed extra nice compared to one guy we were sitting next to who kept making tonguing motions at his lady-friend. I kept hoping for the sake of her dignity that she was a prostitute, because otherwise she was out on a date with a guy who kept waggling his tongue at her and patting her cleavage as though it was a small dog.

When the strippers came on, honestly, it was a little weird. Not because it was offensive, I just didn’t know where to look. Ogling the strippers just seemed impolite so I found myself desperately trying to watch Will.i.am’s halftime-show robot dance, which was being projected on the screen behind them.

Still, I was really impressed by the girls’ flexibility – such as I have never seen, even in pilates class – and I thought it was nice that a bunch of different body types were represented. I’d sort of expected them all to be blond D-cups, and it was cool to see that wasn’t the case. I felt like maybe Colin was trying a little hard to impress me with his sensitivity when he looked at one of the strippers and said “you know, she seems really young. That’s someones daughter up there,” (I told him I was sure she was fine, probably stripping her way through law school) but that was sort of sweet.

I don’t think Scores is going to become one of my regular hangouts, but the environment is probably a good way to tell if your date is a douchebag or not. And it definitely made up for my disappointment about their being no halftime cheerleaders.

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  • Malkovich

    Jennifer, I remember from another article you were wondering what to wear. What did you decide on?

  • Jennifer Wright

    Skinny jeans, a button down shirt. I wasn’t a very sassy dresser.