• Tue, Feb 8 2011

Candy Heart Gets Fresh

I’ve noticed that over the past decade or so, candy conversation hearts have kept up with the times by including messages like “IM Me” alongside the more traditional “I love you” and “kiss me.”

But recently, Necco, the company that makes those candy hearts, has fallen down the slippery slope upon which “modern” leads to “indecent:” Ciara Bush, a 12-year-old girl in North Carolina, opened a bag of the little heart-shaped sugar nuggets and found one that read, “Nice Tits.”

OK, look. I’m all for a fun, hilarious gag that would be a NSFW bag of candy hearts. (Why hasn’t anyone done that? Patent!) But really? Nice tits?! Did the company forget that these candies generally accompany Valentine’s cards distributed to hundreds of thousands of schoolchildren across America? Most of them don’t even have tits, let alone nice ones.

I kid, I kid. But how in the world did that message get in there? I wonder if the factory workers have access not to messages, but to letters, and so someone thought they would make a funny. Or, if we can somehow blame this atrocity on TV and video games, which are slowly eroding this country’s moral fabric and now making it acceptable for innocent children’s candies to catcall their pre-pubescent readers.

What’s next? Packs of Snoopy Valentine’s cards suggesting threesomes?

[Image via KRCA.com]

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  • Saskia

    Snoopy Valentines cards suggesting threesomes would be beyond awesome

    • Emme

      They would! And would almost definitely have to involve some sort of awful ‘Give a dog a bone’ pun.