Would It Be More Fun To Be Skinny And Sexless or Overweight And Orgasmic?

The New York Post says that most women would rather be celibate for a year than sexually satisfied and overweight. For myself, I would rather be skinny and incredibly sexually satisfied. Like Grace Kelly! But Grace Kelly with a little more oomph, you know? Oomph. (Boobies). I would like to look like Grace Kelly and spend the entire day with my lover, who left his career as an English professor to be a billionaire. I would like to lie on the beach with him and have him give me a book where all the words are raised, like in braille, but raised with diamonds. And while he is doing that I will just run my fingers over my ribs, counting them, because I am so skinny. And then I want to eat peanut butter pie, because I want the skinny to be effortless. And then I would like us to do it like the marmosets do on The Discovery Channel.

That is what I would like.

I think that should have been the third option.

Ashley doesn’t care, but Ashley just hates sex.

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    • Eileen

      Grace Kelly had great boobies.

      The fact that this is the only thing I have to say about the article probably says something odd about me.

    • Jennifer Wright

      You are correct. I apologize to Grace Kelly for implying otherwise.

    • Beth

      A little overweight doesn’t imply unhappy or unattractive to me. So yeah, give me the abundance of sex over being starved and sexually frustrated any day!

    • Sandra

      It will be more fun to be skinny and orgasmic…

    • M

      I’ve done both the skinny masturbating and the chunky humping. Trust me, take the year of fat sex. It’s WAY better.

    • L

      Um, sex. Totally sex. If I can be fat and have awesome SEX, yes, totally.

      …I mean, why is this even a debate? Really.

    • X

      sex is great but skinny forever

    • Paige

      Maybe….if you had lots and lots of sex….you would burn off all the fat….

    • Christina

      What a weird question. I’m naturally very slim, and haven’t had sex for over a year for various reasons, but I wouldn’t rather gain 30 pounds in exchange for a great sex life.

      The thing is, I don’t think I could have a great sex life if I was 30 pounds heavier – since I’ve been slim my entire life, a 30 pounds heavier me just wouldn’t feel like the real ME. It wouldn’t feel like my own body that I love and feel comfortable with, which is something that I require for great sex.

    • Emma

      I usually love the Gloss, but come on- this question is unnecessarily wacky. At least without a discussion of how anorexia and other eating disorders destroy your sex drive as well as your secondary sexual characteristics.

      That being said, orgasms all the way. Being fat isn’t a problem. (I’ve varied between chunky, fat, and really fat for all my life, and it has not affected my health or my enjoyment of life whatsoever. The fatphobic society isn’t awesome, but that’s their problem.) Lack of sex? BIG PROBLEM!

    • Manda

      Fat and orgasmic, thank you! I’ve been overweight my whole life (Dear Thyroid, bite me), and I will probably never be “skinny”. Thinner than I am now? Yes, because of medical reasons.

      But, and this is coming from someone who was bulimic as a teenager, has been called every fat-slur imaginable, and has suffered A LOT because of her obesity over the years, I would rather be fat and enjoying my life, than skinny and hating missing out on it.

      Yeah, being really, really big like I am can suck. But you can make the best of your life, no matter how big you are. I think it’s scary that we put so much emphasis on “thin”, that women would rather put their life on hold to be thin, than be a bit overweight and enjoying themselves. Terrifying, really.

    • gsaintl

      I told my hubby (who I met when we were both in culinary school) many years ago that we could be thin and divorced, or chubby and happily married…we’ll be celebrating our 30th anniversary this Fourth of July the same as always…FIREWORKS…WHOO HOO!!

    • lolo

      your a really bad writer and stop rambling on about a bench or w.e