• Thu, Feb 24 2011

5 Things Feminists Love Most About Divorce

Over at the Huffington Post, political conservative and activist Phyllis Schlafly talks about her recent assertion that feminists love divorce. In a new book, The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know – And Men Can’t Say, she and (once-divorced) co-author Suzanne Venker write that: “If there’s one thing feminists love, it’s divorce – they consider it liberating.”

Well you know what? I’m so glad she said it first!! This is one of those things that so many feminists have been thinking for so long, but just couldn’t say publicly because it would be such a PR fiasco. But now that Schafly has opened the door for us to finally come out with our real feelings, here are 5 things that we feminists absolutely adore about divorce:

  1. The crippling financial difficulties so many women face when suddenly hit with the reality that we make 70% of what our former husbands make.
  2. Being stigmatized on dating websites, in religious groups and in social circles.
  3. Losing at least half of our friends along with our once-best friend, and the subsequent feelings of total isolation.
  4. The unrelenting judgment of our mothers, grandmothers and other relatives who secretly (or not so secretly) blame us for the marriage’s failure.
  5. Getting to check the fun “divorce” box on all the paperwork, always and forever, until we are once again able to identify ourselves through our partner!

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  • Eileen

    I think a lot of what she says is bullshit, and I don’t think that anyone actually wants to get divorced, but I do think that most feminists appreciate divorce – especially no-fault divorce – because it enables them to get away from a bad marriage. Before no-fault divorce, the burden was on the woman who wanted a divorce to prove that her husband was abusive or unfaithful…and if we go back to the origins of divorce in modern Western culture, even abuse wasn’t good enough (one sixteenth-century Genevan woman whose husband beat her so badly he put her eye out was advised to “be patient” with him). So, no, I don’t think that women “love” divorce, but I do think that feminism has benefitted sincerely from it.

  • Beth

    Of course Phyllis Shclafly is right! Feminists love to trample underfoot the dreams and aspirations of anyone who wants a happy family. And we force all of society to conform to our baby-murdering, witchcraft laden ways!…. OH WAIT, I think we’re the ones advocating for women to have the right to choose their path. She’s the one trying to make everyone conform to her idea of happiness and morality.

  • teenie

    having gone through a GNARLY divorce (where my ex was able to “hide” his income to the point where I got no support, and half the debt, even though he earned 3 times what I did) I can say that your synopsis of divorce is accurate, and a horrible thing to behold.

    Except for #4. My mom got me a bottle of champagne and flew me back to the east coast, she was so excited. She hated the little motherfucker.

    And #5 – I don’t care – I check single. I’m not going to self-identify as divorced for the rest of my life. I have no children, and it actually doesn’t matter… will my medical care differ because I was divorced? is my tax bracket different? IS THERE ANY REASON I SHOULD INDICATE THAT I HAD A SERIOUSLY FLAWED RELATIONSHIP FOR 10 YEARS UNTIL I FOUND MY GONADS AND GOT OUT? no! If it was some sort of social census, looking for trends blah blah blah, sure I’d give accurate information. But honestly, it’s none of my doctor’s business whether I was married before, but now am not.

    • Humm

      So you spent ten years with this guy and your mother hated him.

      Who do you think did more harm to your marriage, him, you, or your mother.

      If you had no children why worry about his earnings? Are you some kind of bum who can’t get a job?

    • teenie

      Humm, your response shows me that you’re either ignorant to the complexities of divorce from lack of experience, or you’re choosing to ignore them because you’ve got some beef with a previous wife that you’re taking out on people you don’t even know on a blog.

      Either way, just to educate you, alimony is many times used as an equalization for the division of assets and debts between two formerly married parties. All debt acquired during a marriage, regardless of whose name it is in, is divided equally, 50/50, during a divorce. If the debt to income ratio for the marriage is dependent on both parties, and the other party (in my case) earns apprx. 3 times what I do, then I’ll be seriously screwed in this scenario. This is what support would help with.

    • Cristina Guenther

      don’t you hate it wen ppl think ur a bad person for not having/ wanting to have kids…….urghhhh so annoying.
      my mom had to divorce my dad and thank god it went through. he was on drugs and providing us nothing. he actually spend $90,000 of my college money away to support his lifestyle and mom is still in debt. sometimes divorce is very necessary.

  • Humm

    No fault divorce covers up abuse and infidelity (which is a form of abuse).

    A lot of women love it because it means no one will ever find out that the divorce was becaus ethey were screwing the mailman and can still sit and play victim. There is nothing funnier about feminism and divorce that that it is a process by which weak and unemployable women turn to men for money because they wish to avoid getting a job and need money provided by a male to survive. In a way the word alimony just prooves women are inferior to men and can’t make it in life without a man giving them money to live. SHow me what’s femminist about that?

  • Catch

    Having a specific man to focus their hatred on rather than males in general.