• Mon, Feb 28 2011

“I Am On A Drug”: Charlie Sheen Mad Libs

You probably can’t be a beautiful unicorn creature like Charlie Sheen. Nonetheless, Jen Dziura came up with a brilliant Mad Lib for you all to participate in.

From WashPo: Post-Oscars, Charlie Sheen told ABC News:

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

If you were a drug, why would you not be available and what would you do to people? Fill in the blanks:

“I am on a drug. It’s called _____________. It’s not available because if you try it once, ________________ and ________________.”

“I am on a drug. It’s called Jen Dziura. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will develop a death-glare that makes incompetent people feel bad about themselves. You will explode with righteous fury and also grow a sparkly unicorn horn.”

“I am on a drug. It’s called Ashley Cardiff. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will become reclusive and foul tempered.”

“I am on a drug. It’s called Jennifer Wright. It’s not available because if you try it once you will become ‘you know what I love? Argyle.’”

“I am on a drug. It’s called Lucia Peters. It’s not available because if you try it once you will end up with radiation in your pants.”

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  • Jen Dziura

    Ha! Argyle.

    I’d like to thank my cousin Katherine Shade of the great state of Florida for bringing the Sheen quote to my attention. Quoth Katie: “I think Mel Gibson lent Charlie Sheen some of his cocoa puffs.”

  • georgeelliot

    “I am on a drug. It’s called John Boehner. It’s not available because if you try it once your skin will turn Three-Mile-Island Orange and your heart will turn into a tiny piece of coal.”

  • Nessy

    I am on a drug. It’s name is Nessy. It’s not available because if you try it once you will develop a crippling case of insomnia and the sneaking suspicion that Pajama Jeans might awesome.

    • Jennifer Wright

      I once had a dream that all my pants had been replaced by pajama jeans. I have no particular feelings about this. Just wanted to share.

    • Jen Dziura

      I tried some on and was very disappointed — they’re just leggings! With a button! Not so ridiculously comfortable you’d wear them even though you look like a jackass.