Smart Men Tell Us Why They Date Dumb Women

You should probably read this unless you want to die alone.

We just stumbled on another study (it’s around the 750th, we stumble on some variation of this study everywhere) saying that men don’t want to date smart, successful women, and oh, God, we’re all going to be spinsters, all of us, should have kept cocktail waitressing forever. Now, we could debate whether or not this is true, but let’s just assume it is. Let’s assume dating dumb women is the best! I called a smattering of my male friends who explained why some men like dating girls who are less successful or intelligent than they are. So. Here’s why:

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http://www.thirty-things.blogspot.com springchicken

I think Jen should date that last guy. And if not, can I have his number?
- Matt Langer
  
  Google me!
- Jennifer Wright
  
  I highly recommend the very dashing and daper non-bro Matt Langer! Who is now going to be credited.
- http://www.thirty-things.blogspot.com springchicken
  
  And cute too! Where were you all the years I lived in New York?
- Jennifer Wright
  
  Oh my God, we are bringing people together! MAKING ROMANCE HAPPEN!
Lindsey

By the way jennifer wright, you’ve done it again. This had me in stitches!
Mina

So John Carney’s just not going to answer the question? He gave the reason dumb girls date smart guys.
- Gabbi
  
  What i think can be inferred from most of the above answers is, that guys date by possibility instead of by choice. So I think that Mr Carney’s answer is quite appropriate.
Eileen

Tell Michael to call me in a couple of years. I’m okay with the name “Woodsmall.”
- marissa
  
  Ew, no! He’s the “youmusttakemylastname” guy.
- Eileen
  
  Hence the “I’m okay with the name ‘Woodsmall.’”
  
  If you knew my surname you’d understand. ;)
Hayley

I’d like to point out that cocktail waitress or kindergarten teacher can be far more challenging jobs than they appear at first glance – working primarily with people/the public requires the patience and facility of a saint (can you tell I’m in a “people” based industry?). Its pretty unfair to label these professions as attracting “dumb” girls. And personally, I’ve known some really dumb women who are pharmacists, lawyers, corporate officers etc.
And yes, I may be taking this too seriously ;)
Okay, rant over. I enjoyed this article!
- M
  
  I think this article is talking about women who are dumb as in intellectually stunted, not dumb as in socially retarded [though people are not necessarily one or the other; I've definitely known people who were both]. Most jobs that involve serving/corralling/pleasing the general public involve a COMPLETELY different skill set from professional white-collar jobs, and I wouldn’t say that one category of abilities is necessarily more valuable than the other; it depends on what you want to do and how much they need to be applied.
M

I wonder how often this works the other way too. I am technically more than intellectually capable; I excelled in school until I dropped out due to a variety of issues, mostly mental/emotional. My boyfriend, while absolutely wonderful and not stupid by any means, is still not the sharpest guy there ever was. Almost every person I’d dated before him were expensively-educated high-powered types, and once in awhile I crave the conversations I’d had with them because I lose him sometimes. But he’s not just some blonde bimbo to pass the time: we’ve been together for awhile and I can’t imagine being a better fit with anyone; we’re both committed to our future together. The longer we were together and the more I realized how happy he makes me, the less it mattered to me. We might not have long discussions about nuclear physics or the advantages and disadvantages of an open market, but we talk about what’s important.

On the other hand, I work in a blue-collar trade as an auto mechanic. I wouldn’t change it for anything: I love what I do and I excel at it, and what more could someone ask for from a profession? But I do sometimes wonder how I’d do on the market as a reasonably intelligent [I'd like to think] woman in a ‘dumb’, stereotypically masculine job.
Erica

I like this article but I think it’s unfair to call kindergarten teachers dumb. Lots of very smart people I know teach young grades, often kindergarten. Unfair.
Corissia

Are we sure all of these guys are “smart”? Because most of them are saying some ridiculously stupid things.
- Ms. Pants
  
  Amen, sista.
RPB

No man of any substance dates a stupid woman for very long. However, only douche-nozzles like Matt Langer find women sexy because they retain vague intellectual qualities. Intelligence is an essential part of a LTR for me, but to call it sexy makes you tantamount to the biggest “fucking toolbox” I know.
- Kevin G
  
  Spoken like a true douche-nozzle.
  
  (Your usage of the word “retain” is slightly inept, by the way. And is there any “logic” to using “the quotation marks” where you “did?” Ah, well, dumb women won’t notice…)
  
  My two cents:
  
  Being editors in chief of online women’s magazines (or otherwise intelligent) doesn’t automatically make one sexier than anyone else, sure – but when combined with a woman who’s pretty sexy already, it can add a lot. For myself, that’s probably because I’m painfully, like existentially, bored by dumb people.
  
  Incidentally I also do agree with Jaime above though – this seems more along lines of power and income disparities than smart/dumb.
Rebeca

I don’t know any smart man that dates dumb girls. I’m a particle physicist, I know a lot of smart people. Only dumb guys date dumb girls, and if you don’t believe me, read the explanations these guys give and answer me this questions: do you think they really are smart?
- Ally
  
  Right on, sister.
Natalie

This really was a great read, all seriousness aside it had me laughing at the randomly insightful comments mixed with the pure manly douche bag ones. Plus the comments here are also amusing and well intended – very refreshing
Jamie

I think everyone here is confusing “smart men” with “rich douchebags”, and “dumb women” with “women who work in the service industry.” THESE THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME.
- Ellen W.
  
  You have made an excellent point Jamie. I was kind of mad on behalf of the bartender-girlfriend too. It says a lot about the responders by how they define “dumb” girls.
- Ashley Cardiff
  
  @Jamie: dead on.
nicoleshoe

love that marketing exec guy….
Trav

What I find amusing is the references to smart and successful vs. dumb and unsuccessful as if they are mutually exclusive. When in fact they are not at all the same. There are plenty for semi-successful people that are driven, and focused in their careers but not too bright. Likewise there are many insightful intellectuals that would not be considered successful by the majority of the population.
I agree that based on their input, for some of the guys polled it may be a stretch to call them “Smart”.
It’s obvious that the Male biology (and ego) makes us want to be the dominant one in the relationship, I think every guy admitted to this in some way. But I think Hedge Funder hints at an important point. The Female biology wants a mate that she can look up to or respect as her superior in some way. Otherwise she loses respect for him and with that goes desirability as a mate. As he says, “Every alpha woman I know wants to be with a man who is as successful as her or more so.” Men do NOT need this. Every man I know, after maturing past sowing their oats as it were, wants a woman that can love him in a way that he feels secure in her love. Whether that’s cooking him dinner, being there emotionally after a rough day at work, having intellectually stimulating conversation, being a partner in business, a travel companion, bearing him healthy children or simply being an affectionate lover all varies by guy. Whatever it is for him, that’s enough. She doesn’t need to be successful, smart or anything else.
So picture this: You’re a semi-successful, attractive business man. You’re not really aware of what that key female trait is for you, but your heart draws you to it anyway so you don’t need to be. Now, you are drawn to both a waitress and professional business woman. Who is it easier to Get Noticed By? Who is it easier to Impress? (Yes we all want to feel like we are impressing you!) Who is it easier to spend time with? Who is it easier to fall in Love with? If, in this scenario, the guy would be just as happy with either woman, Who would you choose?
- Randal
  
  Five ways men are trained to Hate Women.
  http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women_p2.html
  
  BTW the perks I referred to include traveling the world in a leisurely manner and awesome sex. So :P to all the dipshit males who’d rather be a stuggling loser than bend knee to the smarter woman who just wants your undying devotion.
Amanda Ernst

Not sure why, but this post reminds me of this video — but I’m probably equating “dumb” with “hot” because that’s what one of the guys said anyway right? Dumb girls are prettier?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYpwAtnywTk
Kat

In short, dumb girls are easy.
- Jennifer Wright
  
  No, no, they’re hot and easy. You forgot the upside!
joanntheredhead

I could go on…and on…and ON about this subject, but I will try and keep my rants to a minimum.

The guy who’s dating the Kindergarten teacher? Yeah–how about that guy? Though, he really ain’t as smart as he thinks he is…nope, not at all.

See, he thinks she has this quaint little job–with summers and holidays off–that allows plenty of time for her to serve his needs, right? Well, she probably is pretty giving–most teachers are. But for a lot of reasons–reasons that consider far more than whether or not she’ll always be around for him. And she is no dumb woman. With all his condescension, he’s completely overlooking just how smart she is–and that she, more than likely, has him all figured out.

For she, the Kindergarten teacher, probably understands that kind of guy more than any of us…

She spends her days taking care of people who can do so little for themselves, and run to her for every damn little thing they need. People who throw tantrums when they don’t get their way, get into fights that she has to step in and break up…

She does all that and more for them–until they finally tire themselves out. Then she gives them a carton of milk–and a cookie or something–before putting them down for a nap.

Yeah, she’s dealt with his kind before…
- Jennifer Wright
  
  You’re kind of making me want to date a kindergarten teacher.
- Kevin G
  
  “She spends her days taking care of people who can do so little for themselves, and run to her for every damn little thing they need. People who throw tantrums when they don’t get their way, get into fights that she has to step in and break up…
  
  She does all that and more for them–until they finally tire themselves out. Then she gives them a carton of milk–and a cookie or something–before putting them down for a nap.”
  
  I think this was supposed to shame men into better behavior… but it just sounds awesome. A carton of milk and a cookie? A nap? Yes, please.
Emily

Matt Langer’s got it – those guys who don’t seem interested in smart girls? As a smart girl, you don’t want to date that guy anyway. He’s not going to give you what you want in a relationship, and he is going to expect things from you that you don’t want to give.
Bob

In my experience a woman has no use for a man she looks down on. If she’s taller, or smarter, or makes more money, that’s one strike against him.

Why would a guy waste his time when he’s already behind on the count?
- M
  
  I don’t know if I agree with that. Maybe it depends on how people look at their relationships. To me, it’s not one big scorecard. But even if it was that doesn’t change much. I might technically be smarter than my boyfriend, but there are also a lot of things he’s better at than I am. We both have our own positive qualities to bring to the relationship, and because of that together we do better than each of us on our own. Neither of us drags the other person down; that’s a lot of WHY I think our relationship is good.
  
  However, if you are legitimately with someone you can only look down on, or you’re with someone who only ever looks down on you, for god’s sake cut and run. I don’t understand the point of being in a relationship when one party is completely unappreciated.
savage

Do you get paid to write this tripe? Come on. This is on par with tabloids. I can’t believe you people actually had a discussion thread in response. My excuse? I have an hour left of work and don’t want to fall asleep now that the trading day is over.
Randal

I’ve been with a woman who is quicker, smarter and more sensible than myself for several years and I AM in love with her and there are some great perks.

But it’s not always easy most men are not conditioned or wired to be on that side of the equation. I suffer ego blows almost daily and occasionally deep emotional trauma.

My agenda and my career come second and gets put on hold often and this can be very frustrating too. It’s also true that she wants me to be as successful as she and is disappointed by my shortcomings on this front. Yet she’s not willing to put up with me working all night long in the office etc…

In the end it all comes down to the reality that I’d rather be an intelligent woman’s bitch than in an office kissing some alpha male’s ass all day long.
- nmuzza
  
  Youre so sad!!!!
- Dan
  
  Dude, You need some bro’s
anx murder

To the part by “Our Former Intern Michael Woodsmall”:
Really, after you saw your wild oats you’ll seek those nice, smart women? BAD NEWS, after you f***d all these cheap whores, NO ONE will want you. You’re WORTHLESS. No woman will want your wrinkled, baling ugliness and your diseased ***, to get HIV, HPV, herpes and hepatitis from you. You’re DAMAGED GOODS, worthless garbage, who’s unable to feel respect for women or any love for a woman. You are NOT WORTH IT.

In general, what a nasty, misogynist, hateful blog filled with sh*** spewed by dickless, worthless trash masquerading as “males”.
- John
  
  Thanks, someone had to express that sentiment. It’s always annoying to read about men using women to bolster their egos.
  
  But of course what you say is not true. Most women, with their backwards laws of sexual attraction, still want these men more than any others, despite the force of reason in the back of their minds telling them these guys have used many women and have a 99% higher chance of being infected. As anyone who’s taken at least psychology 101 should know, this isn’t just pop psychology.
- Robin
  
  First off, I’m female.
  
  Don’t you dare go pointing fingers at men when you yourself will turn around after having fun with those sexy, young, alpha, impossible to tie down guys for the Nice Guy who for the past ten years will have been chasing you and you will have been ignoring him.
  
  How is it ANY different from what you do to men? Calm your tits you crazy woman.
- Dick York
  
  I think you need to tone it down a notch. By the looks of your post, you seem to be a very temprental to jump to such bold conclusions and accusations.
  
  Take a deep breath. Breathe out slowly. As you exhale… Take into consideration that it is not this article’s fault that you are experiencing such sexual frustration. This frustration that you are compelled to unleash on complete strangers is rather disturbing from an outside perspective.
  
  I suggest a chill pill. It is suggested that you take it with water. These things are great for preventing crazy rants like yours.
CherriCherri Huang

Last time I checked, kindergarten teacher in California ( public) school requires a post bachelor degree. So technically, waitresses with a high school GED and kindergarten teachers with a master degree or higher are not to be compared. Intelligence and patience, I have, tolerance to ignorance for people beyond adolescents, I don’t! I serve those who are inoccent not those who needs ego boost!
Nigel

So you want a maid and a mommy?
Dan

Ain’t nothing with bro’s. A bro is a friend. A man with no bro’s is not a happy man.
AbsolutelyTrue

women certainly have become very mean to us men and stupid over the years.
Chieu

I don’t think this question is thoroughly precise but by the way it is ask I presume the answer would be “because it is less intimitating to the ego of the man, and less pressure on him to start anything with a easier woman. “smart women” tends to be corrective and takes it too literally” Dating is meant to be fun.
The Corrector

Weren’t slides 10 and eleven the same?
The Corrector

Of course, now I know that guys like idiots because they’re the only people that they’re smarter than. “Yes, I would like smart girls, but I’m not as smart as them so I like the stupid idiots instead.” Perfect explanation.
Alessandra Martellacci

The male ego is the most fragile thing ever made. I am starting to think we need to throw the planet into the sun and start over again.