Real Talk: What Men Think Women Want

At the end of his life, Freud said there was only one question he couldn’t answer. And that question was: what do women want? Now, this seems to imply that Freud knew, say, “why children get cancer” and “where we go when die” and whoever he was talking to (Piers Morgan) just dropped the ball on the follow up. We could try to deal with those questions, but we wanted to keep it simple, so I asked some of my male friends what women want. Apparently, this is what we want:

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    • Goldie

      investment banker #1 is the only one who got it right.

    • Ms. Pants

      I’m a little disappointed no one gave the one, true, correct answer: Sovereignty.

      • The PhD Candidate

        Has someone been reading Chaucer?

    • Eileen

      I like the professor and the undergrad: love, attention, and to be wanted. They should get married.

    • Dan

      It seems impossible to know what women want! Women are so hard to read. Give them chocolate I guess? Have a lot of money to take them out?

      • Ms. Pants

        A big dick would be better than chocolate or dinner out. Just sayin.

    • klave

      A question for Philosoraptor: if I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know what men want, how can I expect men to know what I want?

      • The PhD Candidate

        What at least one man wants:

        A woman who makes philosoraptor allusions.

      • Jennifer Wright

        I AM OFFENDED THAT YOU HAVE TURNED MY SERIOUS REPORTING INTO A PSEUDO PICK-UP JOINT!

        !!!

        !

      • klave

        PhD Candidate, thanks to your help I think I just figured out what I want. A man who wants a woman who makes philosoraptor illusions.

    • Leah

      The question itself is skewed. It’s because we’ve all heard the cliche “what women want”, so that’s how people were answering the question. What do I want? Currently, I want a roll of quarters to do laundry. Later, I want to watch TV. I really don’t spend any time thinking about “what I want” (presumably from a partner). Although I guess if I were to suggest something, it would be to be treated as an individual, and to not have my partner worry about “what women want”. Yup, that would be #1.

    • oja

      I agree with the people who said that women want to be considered on an individual basis. I hate how some people talk about “what women want” like it’s some sort of magical equation that, if they solve, they’ll be neck deep in vagina for the rest of their lives. Like deep down all women share the same primal lady brain. Women are human beings and every human being is different.

      • Leah

        Exactly. National Geographic recently told me that there are 7 billion people in the world, and if half of them are women, I’d rather that a guy (or anyone, really) not lump me in with 3.5 million other people based on my gender.

    • Satin_Worship

      Oh my, Nic Rad. I know Valentine’s Day is long past, but please be mine!

    • Alanna

      Currently, I want Nic Rad and a plate of spaghetti with zucchini.

      • Jennifer Wright

        Why you always objectifying people?

    • Jessica

      Women want to be noticed, to be loved, to be accepted with all their difficult emotions, and women want to feel as if they belong in a relationship with the man they are relating to at the moment. Hopefully somewhere in there he understands what she is feeling and expecting, and trying to please her because he cares enough about her and their relationship to figure that much out.

    • Gabbi

      I think it’s kind of funny that claiming to be an individual has become such a cliche.
      I mean, obviously we’re different. That’s a no brainer. But still, there are certain causalities and mechanics that rule our lives. The question “what women want” is not entirely fallacious. Or as Schopenhauer put it, we may be free to do what we want to do, but we cannot want what we want to want.

    • Jen Dziura

      I’m warmer, safer, and more well fed than you all! No, seriously, WTF?