Rational Jen thinks that Prada is a very successful company that has a good logical reason for making a shoe like this, and she is trying to figure out what that reason is. Asshole Jen is running around talking about how they’re fucking with her and installed a radio inside her teeth so as to fuck with her better. They will debate:
Asshole Jen: ANNA WINTOUR IS BEHIND THIS SOMEHOW. CRAZY BITCH HAS HATED US SINCE WE THREW A ZUCCHINI AT HER. CAUSE WE WANTED TO BE LIKE PETA. EXCEPT WE FUCKING HATE VEGTABLES, LOVE EATING LIVE OCTOPUS.
Rational Jen: This is why we can never go out to Red Lobster.
Asshole Jen: NOT MY FAULT THEIR MENU IS OCTOPUS FREE. THE WAITER ASKED ME TO THROW THE LOBSTER AT HIM.
Rational Jen: That was a fun night for everyone, if everyone means “only you.” That said, I’m pretty sure Anna Wintour didn’t ask Prada to make her a shoe that combined all varying aspects of ugliness. It’s like an espadrille, a brogue and a horrible rubber platform all smashed together into one layer cake of ugliness. I’m not surprised it’s called the Creeper Brogue. I can’t imagine it will sell well, but it does seem to get a lot of press. I suppose the point could just be “let’s get a lot of press” but that seems like it would tarnish the brand, wouldn’t fly with creative directors.
Asshole Jen: I FEEL CONFUSED AND ANGRY.
Rational Jen: Okay, but it is making you feel something, yes? The way staring into the vast depths of a Rothko does?
Asshole Jen: HAHAHA SEEING RED.
Rational Jen: Perhaps that’s the point. Ruskin says that the beautiful and sublime are intertwined, though the sublime might not have the same symmetry of beauty. However, anything which elevates the mind and produces a dramatic emotional response is a sublime thing.
Asshole Jen: PUKE IN MY MOUTH IS NOT AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE.
Rational Jen: Sure it is! Look, we’re talking about this shoe. We don’t often do that. It’s exciting! I’m not saying that I like it, I’m not saying I’d wear it around, but I am saying that artistically – if we can consider fashion artistic at all – Prada has done something interesting, here.
Asshole Jen: HOW ABOUT I JUST BAKE YOU A CAKE AND FILL IT WITH MAGGOTS? WE’LL TALK ABOUT THAT, TOO. WHAT’S POOPY POOPY RUSKIN DOG GOING TO SAY ABOUT THAT?
Rational Jen: I think the difference is that wouldn’t “elevate the mind” so much as “provoke visceral disgust.” This shoe makes us wonder about what it means to be a shoe. Why do we group them into so many categories? Why do some of those categories convey lesbianism?
Asshole Jen: CAUSE WE ALWAYS HANG OUT WITH BROS BECAUSE CIVILIZED PEOPLE GET MAD WHEN WE TAKE THE PAINTGUN TO WORK TO BE AWESOME WITH.
Rational Jen: That is a very, very fair point. But they do convey different things (albeit more so to some people than others), and it’s really upsetting – like puke in your mouth upsetting – when we try to smash them all into one. It’s interesting that Prada has done that and is making us question why things that might be attractive or at least normal and unsurprising taken seperately become shocking when combined.
Asshole Jen: I STILL HATE THESE. SOMETIMES A PRACTICAL JOKE IS JUST A PRACTICAL JOKE. HITTING THE DEAD OCTOPUS PIT, THEN THE EASY BAKE OVEN. FETCH ME SOME CAKE MIX.