7 Ways We Want Dudes To Surprise Us

God, the dudes over at Dude Society seem really nice. They want to surprise girls. With things like flowers, and manicures! Now, sure, those may work on ordinary women. But over at TheGloss, we believe talons are the new nails, and the only flowers we want  are Les Fleurs du Mal (maybe Flowers for Algernon, too. We like mice). But don’t despair. Don’t just say “oh, my delicate man-brain cannot grasp the nuances of all that women want, I am a sad troglodyte, indeed.” Don’t do that, because I came up with some really good ideas for you! These ideas are like sheep riding a vespa good.

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    • langer

      du mal! du mal! DU MAL!

      • Eileen

        So I saw this comment on the side panel and had no idea what the hell it was.

        Then I read the post and experienced the same feeling.

      • matbo

        Google is your friend. I believe langer was correcting a grammatical error? A French grammatical error.

      • Jennifer Wright

        It took me like 10 minutes to figure out that you weren’t yelling about a dinosaur name.

    • Jack Adams

      Saw a link to this post on twitter and I just had to come running over to see what all the fuss was about.
      Three words
      WTF?

      • Jennifer Wright

        I know, Jack. I know. Jack, I know. That “Des Mal” incident WAS confusing. It was like I wasn’t even referencing Baudelaire just some made up bad-French book that I made out of glitter and macaroni. It was confusing for everyone. I feel bad. About the confusion. But I think now we just all have to move on, and you’ve got some dinosaurs to start working on.

    • Venus in Furs

      I have always wanted someone to free all of the zoo animals for me. Now you plant the idea of tiger racing, and I am even more interested in zoo animal liberation! Maybe I can find a boyfriend in PETA to do this for me.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      I said so we can “have” a tiger race. As in ride the tigers’ backs and race them ourselves.

      • Daniela

        Know what would be even better? A bunch of Tiger Moms having a tiger race.

    • kylie

      how about cleaning up our blood after someone kicks you in the shin during a waltz party? on purpose?

    • kat

      this was really stupid. i can’t believe this is published.

    • G

      Dressing up like mario and making me pizza actually sounds pretty awesome.

    • Christina

      This is the best thing ever! I, for one, would love a baby dinosaur.

    • Corrinne

      Ooh my lord hahaha… This website is such a nice change of pace from so many of the other chick sites. Don’t get me wrong, I love all my chick sites. But reading these crazy ass articles really makes my day. I’ve wanted to submit articles for this site, but all the sheer awesomeness is intimidating!

    • Ms. Pants

      Okay, so the thumbnail for the stick figure guy cut off at the arms, so I saw it and thought “an armless guy with a ginormous dick?”

      And then I thought, “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that so much.”