• Thu, Mar 17 2011

Poll: Do You Care About Titles in Relationships?

Over at Glamour, there’s a poignant question from a reader who wonders whether the fact that the guy she’s been seeing on and off for seven months won’t call her his girlfriend is worrisome. I think it’s worrisome if it bothers her, but then the question is, why does it bother her? Is it so she won’t get awkward questions from friends and relatives, or because titles are really important to her, personally? Or does it matter what the reason is?

At any rate, I’ve never cared much about titles, but I will tell you that as someone who’s been engaged for a year and a half, I’m starting to appreciate the simplicity they confer on a relationship. After all, fiancé feels obnoxious after a while, but when you’re engaged, boyfriend isn’t enough and husband isn’t really true.

What about you?

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

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  • Gimmy

    Saying ‘this is my boyfriend’ is a lot less time consuming than saying ‘this is the guy that I see every weekend, text most days and like to get horizontal with’. But that’s just a personal thing: I am quite lazy.

  • marissa

    I don’t care for relationship titles. I still don’t even have my facebook engagement posted, and I definitely despise the word “fiance” after being engaged over a year, too. Also, husband sounds like we’re 40. I’m big with first names and letting people infer what they will.

    One of my friends has been dating a guy for seven months (she possibly is the one that wrote in to Glamour), and he only calls her his companion. She calls him BOYFRIEND excessively. He has single on his relationship status on fb, and she has “In relationship.” He has met all of her friends, and she’s barely met any of his. He has zero pics of her, and she has a couples one with them on her fb profile. There are ways of showing you’re in a relationship without titles. I don’t think this guy’s aware he’s in a relationship with her.

  • curlysarah29

    I guess I sort of like a title, and maybe it comes from being a teacher – Miss So-And-So. And, sort of along the same lines, I think it’s weird when you’re with a guy friend and he introduces you to people you don’t know as, “This is _____” and DOESN’T put a title in there… well, at least it was weird for me because you could tell from their reaction they thought we were dating. Maybe it’s just me.

  • Erica

    Lately, I’ve been using the term Man-Friend of the Non-Boyfriend Variety. That seems to cover all my bases.

  • woo

    I like ‘partner’. I’m not married, I’m not single, and we have three cats together so boyfriend seems a little casual. Same reason I use Ms and not Miss, cos I’m not married, but not 16 and waiting to be married off either.

    I do call my inlaws my inlaws though, which fits the bill perfectly (hassling us for grandkids, popping over unexpectedly, giving unwanted advice etc etc)

  • Eileen

    Just don’t do what my old professor does – he’s living with a woman but not married to her, and he refers to her as “My One True Love.” (especially awkward since he’s divorced) It would have been one thing if he’d used it once – weird, but acceptable – but he referred to her on a regular basis and called her that even after he’d shared her name. He even referred to her in an email or two as OTL.