Poll: Would You Take This Cheater Back?

This man cheated on his girlfriend, and she left him. He responded to this by parading through the streets wearing a sandwich board that proclaimed: ‘I cheated on my girlfriend. I am humiliating myself to show I am sorry. I love her so much. I will do anything to get her back. I am so sorry.’”

Let’s think about this for a second. I could take back a man who had been unfaithful to me. I couldn’t take back a man who expressed his infidelity via a sandwich board. Here’s why:

1) I know that maybe it’s a symptom of our generation that we want to live in public. But I do believe that there are some things that should remain private.  If he wanted to tell you how much he loved you over your Facebook wall – in a gesture that is, I suppose similar to sending flowers to your office so your friends can see you have a “good boyfriend” – I would kind of get it.Personally, I’d prefer to handle the matter privately, but, okay, yes, I might be moved by a declaration of love in front of my friends, and it might, maybe make some of them think he wasn’t the worst guy ever. But he made this declaration in front of total strangers? Why? What purpose does this serve?

2) He’s made his girlfriend looks like a shrew who takes pleasure in humiliation. I mean, this would be a pretty different situation if the sandwich board read “I cheated on my girlfriend, so we’re having a lot of long talks about how I can regain her trust, and what factors compelled me to do something so dumb.” I guess then it would be just be a “look at me! I’m living in public! No secrets from anyone!” type billboard. But this billboard seems to indicate that public humiliation = her taking him back. Because… she’s a sadist?

3)I don’t see how this is humiliating for him. He’s publicly advertising that he had a girlfriend and was still able to ball another chick. This is  pretty often accepted as studly behavior among bros. I just don’t think making a unilateral decisions to expose the abundence of sex in your private life really qualifies as “humiliation.”

4) Basically, I think he’s a dumb exhibitionist. But I could be wrong! Maybe some of you think it’s romantic? I don’t know what goes on in your heads sometime.

Sorry! This poll is now closed.


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    • KB

      Dumb exhibitionist. He’s basically showing off how much of a dick he is. If he wanted to pull some kind of stunt, it could have been more tasteful like Zach Braff did in that one movie where he sleeps with Rachel Bilson. Or maybe something like Lloyd Dobler. That makes it more private and less about showing off. In any case, he still fucked around, and if the girl’s smart she’ll stay away.

    • joanntheredhead

      I’m not sure I would take him back. This grand gesture he’s making–trying to sweep her off her feet (and charm everyone else who may be watching)–seems more histrionic than humble. True sorrow is something that comes naturally, and those who truly feel it usually don’t act upon it with this kind of calculation, manipulation, and control. This is like some kind of performance. As a matter of fact, the most sincerest of apologies are often rather awkward and clumsy, because they are given straight from the heart–without much rehearsal. I can’t help but think there’s more to his agenda going on here–like, he’s hoping to make the eleven o’clock news. Even in his attempts to apologize, he acts as though it’s all about him.

      • Diana

        I don’t know… I don’t think that a well thought of apology is a sign that it is fake, that the emotions are not real. It might even show that the wrongdoer has thought long and hard about what they did, the consequences of their actions and how they might make up for the mistake. Moreover, it is useful sometimes to give a person time to calm down and think things. It’s my opinion that having a flexible plan (which should try to account for as many possibilities as one can foresee) is rarely a bad idea.

    • Futuralon

      Not romantic. Seems desperate and manipulative, like guys who say they’ll kill themselves if you don’t take them back. Next time it’ll be they kill you…

      • joanntheredhead

        You know, I was kinda thinking the same thing: like when a man beats his girlfriend/wife, then begs her to forgive him the next morning–lavishing her with expensive gifts, or cries that he “can’t live without her” and that “he’ll change” (but never does). Mind games.