• Tue, Mar 22 2011

Five Things You Can Do While You Wait Three Days For an Abortion in South Dakota

Today, South Dakota Governor Dennis Daugaard signed into law a bill that will require women to wait three days for an abortion after first meeting with a doctor. During that time, they’ll also have to visit a pregnancy crisis center, clinics that are commonly known to encourage women to either keep their future baby, or give it up for adoption, rather than having an abortion.

Fun, right? There’s always something going on with those anti-abortion folks! Always some exciting new way of taking women’s rights away and ruining our lives. According to the Huffington Post, Daugaard got off on the right foot when explaining the purpose of the bill, then took an unfortunate turn mid-sentence. Observe:

“I think everyone agrees with the goal of reducing abortion…” yes! “…by encouraging consideration of other alternatives.” Oh, no. No, no. So close.

Anyway, we’d like you ladies of South Dakota to know that we’re on your side, so we took some time out to think of things you can do during that three-day waiting period that might make it a little more tolerable. Feel free to print this out and carry it around in your pocket:

  1. Take a road trip! Three days gives you just enough time to get to Chicago and back. Hey, while you’re there, you could even just go ahead and…well, you know.
  2. Play a fun game of “gotcha!” with the staff at the crisis pregnancy center. Think of the most atrocious way that that fetus could have gotten inside you, and tell them the story. See if you can get them to crack, and support your abortion! (For inspiration, listen to Sen. Bill Napoli’s infamous rant on what would constitute a good reason for seeking an abortion. Scroll through the video to about 3:35.)
  3. Distract yourself by shopping for umbrellas. There are many.
  4. Write three days worth of letters to state representative Roger Hunt, who supported the bill by saying that “women need to just be reminded of the fact there is a natural, legal relationship between them and their child.” Maybe see if you can remind him of a few things.
  5. Find a place to take up an aggressive sport — you’ll start classes after you’ve had the abortion, of course. Maybe kickboxing, or jiu jitsu, or even pole dancing (it’s sexually aggressive).

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  • Chelsea

    It’s because of things like this that I picture South Dakota as portrayed on HBO’s Deadwood. Basically, women in that state have approximately the same rights now as they did then.

  • Eileen

    Okay, seriously, you’re going to throw a hissy fit over THREE DAYS? Hell, if I think I have strep throat, it often takes me at least a day or two to get a doctor’s appointment. And asking a woman to take some time to consider making what is – or at least should be – a big decision isn’t unreasonable and it isn’t ruining women’s lives.

    • Chelsea

      Tell me this: which other LEGAL medical procedure are you required to wait 3 days in order to attend counseling, often run by nonmedical religious organizations? This isn’t about some sort of healthy waiting period. It’s about taking away a woman’s choice and it’s wrong.

    • phillysouledout

      To continue the pattern of using irrelevant examples to illustrate our point…how long do they make dudes wait before they get a vasectomy? Oh, and what alt. forms of birth control (besides condoms) do they have out there that doesn’t place the burden of unwanted pregnancies solely on women?

      The bill is pointless and negates the fact that many women DO think long and hard about getting an abortion before they even contact a doctor.

    • Amita

      By the way, referring to other people’s arguments and opinions as “a hissy fit” makes YOU a sexist, even though you are a woman! (Yep, that’s totally possible!) Just like any woman who goes around claiming that she’s the only logical woman on the planet (just one of the guys!) and that all other women are ruled by their emotions, anyone who injects this “hissy fit” business into a debate, well, has no business debating. I shall respond by referring to everything you say as a “brain fart.”

  • curlysarah29

    I have to agree with Chelsea here – you wouldn’t have to wait 3 days to get your appendix removed, nor would you have to meet with someone to discuss your options.

    Sure, we’d love to see a decrease in the number of abortions out there – but the fact is that no matter what type of education people get about how not to get pregnant, it’s going to happen. Nothing (aside from abstinence, which, come on… “no one” practices that today) is 100% fool-proof against getting knocked up. If kids/adults are going to have sex, they should do what they can do prevent a pregnancy. But sometimes, those measures don’t work. And sometimes, people can’t go through with a pregnancy, can’t carry a fetus-child for nine months and then give it away to someone. So yes, there are choices that a woman can make, and safe, legal abortion (without judgment) should be one of them.

    My body, my choice. Bottom line.

    • Chelsea

      And also, SD only has one clinic in the entire state that performs abortions. PP has to fly someone in from out of state since it was too dangerous for abortion providers to live there. A three-day waiting period could easily turn into three weeks if you have to travel from somewhere far away. And for a time sensitive procedure like an abortion, this law is just cruel. Sorry to keep ranting about this, I’m just so frustrated with all these recent attacks on women’s rights!

  • A Little Offended

    This article is beyond the pale. Very disrespectful. I really like The Gloss, and am an attentive reader, but this article is garbage. This has me reconsidering your authenticity and sense of morals. Disgusting article.

    • Amita

      Hey, guess what? That’s not actually an argument! The part about “authenticity” doesn’t even make any sense! Apparently, you think the author/The Gloss is/are immoral, but then apparently you think they’re misrepresenting their own views, and thus … not immoral? What?

  • Venus in Furs

    I think SD should pass a new law to protect unborn children. I think the state of SD should force men to wait three days before they consider jerking off, because every time a man jerks off, he is robbing millions of potential children of their right to life.

    If that’s how things were, you’d never again hear a peep from those right-to-lifers.

    • Venus in Furs

      Oh, yeah, and while he is waiting to jerk off, he should have to attend counseling about other options such as: not jerking off.

  • holly

    I get it. Irreverent is funny right? Sometimes…yea. This, this is not funny to me. I thought The Gloss was all about thinking and questioning. What is so wrong with asking women to question their decisions? Are we that insecure with having abortions, that taking three days to think about it is a threat? This should be more than just another thing to jump on the “i’m tired of the man holding me down” bandwagon.

    • Amita

      Whoa! You can encourage anyone you want to “question their decisions” via, you know, personal conversations, and op-eds in the newspaper. You can’t pass a law that requires women to question their decisions about their medical care. What if someone passed a law that men (and only men) had to think for an extra few days before declaring bankruptcy? (Big decision!) Or that people of a certain race had to have extra counseling before making some big decision? Um, no. Do you really think women who have already made an appointment with an abortion doctor (and thus pretty much thought it through for themselves) need legally-mandated persuasion otherwise?