Help Me Come Up With Non-Busted Jokes About This Ippolita Necklace I Made

I just want you to know I made this necklace.

I put a charm on a piece of black string. So I made it.

The jewelry line Ippolita had a party last night where you could make your own charm necklace. I’m terrified when they have tables like that at parties. I get flashback to crafts at summer camp. I never went to summer camp. But in my head, where the flashbacks are, it’s horrible.

So normally I’m left sitting there gluing my fingers together while other crafty “beauty and fashion bloggers” use “skills” and come away with magical things. But not this time! Ippolita had a naked woman’s bust charm. So I took it. And put it on that string. And then I was done.

The picture I am showing here is basically my greatest jewelry making accomplishment to date.

But! I need to make jokes about wearing a silver bust that don’t all hinge on the phrase “busted.” Which works multiple ways! “Is that a naked woman?” “Oh, busted!” “What’s that necklace?” “Well, it’s kind of busted.”

Incidentally, no one is getting the connection, and I am having to explain it. It’s embarassing. So. Better joke, now, please.

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    • Anna

      “Is that a naked woman?” “Yep! I ‘nude’ you’d be jealous!!”
      “Is that a naked woman?” “I’m not actually sure…this necklace is all Greek to me.”
      “Is that a naked woman?” “Yes, it’s my breast jewelry making accomplishment.”
      “How many pills did you take, Jessie?” “I’m torso excited…I’m torso excited…I’m torso…scared.”

      Oh wait…you wanted BETTER jokes. My bad.

      • Megan

        “Torso excited” and Anna FTW.

    • Coho

      “Is that a naked woman?”
      “No, it’s a fucking necklace.”

    • Narelle

      You only made one? So I guess this is your entire body of work?

    • joanntheredhead

      When I followed the link to this piece off of Twitter and first got to this site, there was a link to another piece–the story about the photo of an “armless” Marissa Miller in Victoria’s Secret–in the lower, right-hand corner of the page! What a coincidence!

    • Matt Langer

      It’s like those jokes that were all “What do you call a naked women with no arms and no legs attached to a piece of string?” but I’m at a complete loss for a punchline. “Venus de Necklace” is pretty lacking.