• Thu, Mar 31 2011

Gallery: Sorry Ways To Break Up With Someone

Remember that episode of “Sex and the City” where Carrie got broken up with by a Post-It note?

Yeah, me too. It was hilarious — but it was hilarious, to be clear, only because it was fiction. If that had been real, and it had been you, believe me when I say that you would not have been snorting a cosmo out of your nose amid peals of laughter and then calling your friends to dish (back in those days, we used the phone to make what were known as “calls”).

So that’s one way to not break up with someone. If you sense that your relationship is over, here are a few other break-up tactics to avoid:

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  • Maris

    I was dumped at a train station. Came to pick up my boyfriend for a weekend at my place…dinner was on the stove…he gets off the train with a bag of my things, says he “can’t do this anymore,” briefly consoles me then hops on the next train home.

    Important lesson learned: if he dumps you like an a**hole, he WILL do it again.

    We got back together and- surprise- he broke up with me over the phone. His battery died mid-convo and I didn’t hear from him for again.

    I’m not bitter at all.

  • Lisa

    There’s also the always popular method my sister’s ex-boyfriend used…”I don’t want to get into a committed relationship since I’m graduating in June” (note: it was October when he came up with that one), split with her, to then enter into a “committed” relationship 2 weeks later with a girl on the same rowing team as my sister.

    I want to stab this guy with a plastic fork every time I run into him at work.

  • M

    Oh man. A friend of mine just got Facebook-relationship-status dumped. He woke up to two e-mail notifications: the first said she requested a change of status from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘It’s complicated’, and the next one was timestamped a whopping five minutes later saying she was switching from the unconfirmed ‘It’s complicated’ to ‘Single’. She always was a classy girl.