Poll: Would You Buy Your Own Engagement Ring?

A while back, rumors were swirling about Jessica Simpson having bought her own engagement ring. Now that there’s talk of she and beau Eric Johnson eloping, it’s bringing it all back up for us…

And so we want to know — would you ever buy your own engagement ring? Now, be honest here. I know that the temptation is to jump in all angry and be like, “it doesn’t matter who pays, as long as there’s love, we both pay it anyway if it’s financed [ed. note: that's actually a legitimate point], if I have more money I don’t care,” etc. etc.

And in theory, sure. We agree.

But theory and feelings don’t always match up, so if that’s not how you feel, you can tell us. This poll is anonymous, we swear.

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

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    • kjon

      I’ve actually discussed this with my beloved and because both of us are financially stable (not outrageously rich or anything) we thought that combining our funds would make the ring that much better! It was my idea because I very much want a canary diamond, yellow is my fave color, and I want it to be a decent size (i.e. as big as possible!). I’d rather have a nice engagement ring for the rest of my life than a big, fancy wedding — but that’s just a preference.

    • Eileen

      No. I think of an engagement ring as a gift from one partner to the other, and it’s weird to buy your own gift. If he didn’t have the money, though, I totally wouldn’t make a fuss about not having an expensive ring or even not having a ring at all – my mom never had one, and she’s been happily married for twenty-five years. Jennifer Lopez got a $1,200,000 ring from Ben Affleck, and they never even made it to the wedding. If he were truly broke I’d pay for both the wedding rings, though.

    • Nicole

      Unless your fiance pays for the ring upfront, you ARE paying for it. After all, once you’re married, it’s your debt too.

    • Shae

      I, like Eileen, view an engagement ring as a gift from one partner to another. My fiance has just bought me an engagement ring (and will not tell me what it looks like, since it’s a GIFT), and I plan on buying him an engagement ring, as well – I know that the design I have chosen is meaningful to him and he will be touched by the fact that I’m also getting him a ring. (After all – I was the one to propose! Why wouldn’t I put a ring on it?)

    • jill

      I had a ring of my mom’s (she passed away before I was married) that I wanted to have made into my anniversary ring. My husband couldn’t afford it at the time. I had a lot more money than him, and so I paid for it.
      Sadly, it,and my wedding band, were stolen less than a year later by someone who broke into our house while I was sleeping.
      To be totally honest, I never felt great about the fact that I paid for it. After it was stolen, on our one year anniversary, my husband gave me a plain platinum band (that matched his). That meant more to me that my original one.
      Oh, and then we got divorced.
      But, now we’re together again,
      No, we’re not completely insane. I swear.

    • Sheena

      I like option #6 that isn’t up there. I’d like to be a part of the process of choosing because I’m the one that has to wear it for the next 50 or so years.

    • Jessica

      My husband and I were married shortly after we finished grad school. Neither of us had much money, but I knew in my heart I’d only be happy with a certain size and quality of diamond, which amounted to a cost that struck both of us as a lot–remember, we had just graduated from ramen and 2-buck-chuck to the occasional meal out and decent bottle of wine.

      So, I offered–insisted, really–to contribute an amount of money that felt comfortable to me on top of what he’d saved for ring-shopping. Doing that actually eased a ton of the guilt that I was feeling about wanting a big rock**. Sort of a “put your money where your mouth is” kind of move.

      I guess it all sounds very transactional, but it really wasn’t and it worked out well for us.

      **Disclaimer: We did not go into debt to buy my ring, nor did it really affect our quality of life later on; rather, the cost just seemed like a lot to us because we were brand-new to making big purchases.

    • kinz

      can we go with option D:
      engagement rings are clunky and snag and just go get married later in the week at the courthouse and forget a lengthy engagements that are inevitably full of stupid showers with – God forbid – shower games *SHUDDER*?
      because that’s the dot I want to click (I’m terrible at being a 20-something woman…)

    • Fatwetdog

      I did. He’s a grad student with a ton of student loans. I’m not. So I paid for the rings.

    • missy

      i can get behind this dot.

    • eEv

      My fiance had 200 dollars to spend on a ring, so we found a 200-dollar ring. If I’d wanted one that cost more, I would have helped pay for it.
      Kinz– there are plenty of reasons to have a lengthy engagement. My fiance and I will have been engaged for about two years when we get married, mostly because we wanted to make sure our finances/working situations were in order and that his student loan debt wouldn’t ruin my credit. We haven’t had a single shower or pre-wedding party and don’t intend to. So don’t judge. Some of us just want to take our time, and then get to celebrate with our friends and family.

    • Natha

      I don’t want an engagement ring. We can spend that money on lots of things that are much more fun. And then we will get plain silver wedding bands. I’m not really into jewelry, I guess…

    • Cheryl

      I think both sides have really great points. It is a gift, in a sense, but I see the ring as more of a symbol: “Now I’m off the market, I’m about to get married.”

      So when I got engaged a few years ago and my fiance could not afford a ring, I decided to buy my own. On the upside, it was perfect. Classic styling, but not flashy, sparkly and pretty and just wonderful. And it was in my budget.

      On the downside, we never did get married. I still have the damn ring. You can’t really pawn it for what it’s worth (I was offered $20 at a pawn shop. TWENTY DOLLARS), you can’t really wear it anymore. You can’t throw it at your ex in a rage. After all, you dropped the dough, why should he keep it?

      Other than the fact that I have this jinxed ring I’m now stuck with, I don’t regret paying for the thing myself. I wanted the symbol winking down on my finger to remind me that someone wanted to marry me. He couldn’t provide that. So I did.

    • Magda

      I agree with Cheryl. The ring is more of a symbol than anything else. I dont even really like rings, mostly because i have been cursed with sausage fingers. For me, the gesture of actually proposing, and how it was done would be more important than the ring. Especially if there was something more important to spend the money on, like an old professor of mine, who decided with his fiancée that they would rather save for a house then splurge on a ring.

      I really think the traditions associated with engagement/proposing are a bit antiquated. The man is supposed to propose, the man has to buy the ring and all the woman has to do is accept it and wear it. I dont know, what if the woman popped the question? Would she then buy a ring for herself, or for her beau?

    • Kate

      I’ve not got an engagement ring and it’s unlikely I ever will. I would have loved him to buy me one, but he didn’t and didn’t ask me if I’d like one. And, although he’s currently unemployed, it’s not that he can’t afford it. He has plenty of savings. To be honest, for me, that would have been the most romantic part and something just between the two of us. I’m not into big weddings – for me the ring (that I don’t have) would have been enough. But there you go. I doubt I’ll get a wedding ring either. And no, I’m not going to say I want one or buy one myself because it isn’t from him, from his heart.