• Wed, Apr 6 2011

Is It Really That Hard To Get Men To Cuddle?

There’s a new product available called My After Sex Buddy for you if you are lonely, and need a stuffed animal to hold after sex, and didn’t carefully preserve the beloved velveteen rabbit of your youth forever (someone made bad choices, that someone was you). Oh, and if it’s impossible to get your man-friend to cuddle. Which I don’t actually think is that hard. Now, admittedly, I hold out on the cuddling. You know the beginning of Peter Pan where they talk about Mrs. Darling and say:

She was a lovely lady, with a romantic mind and such a sweet mocking mouth. Her romantic mind was like the tiny boxes, one within the other, that come from the puzzling East, however many you discover there is always one more; and her sweet mocking mouth had one kiss on it that Wendy could never get, though there is was, perfectly conspicuous in the right-hand corner… Wendy thought Napoleon could have got it, but I can picture him trying, and then going off in a passion, slamming the door.

THAT IS WHAT CUDDLING SHOULD BE LIKE. It should be the last thing anyone gets.

Come to think of that, perhaps that is why people are willing to cuddle with me when I finally let my guard down. Because I’ve tricked them into thinking it’s like winning, somehow.

But, in general, it’s not really that hard, right? Even though I hold out on the cuddle for as long as possible, if someone said “I’d really like to cuddle, now” I would do it, based on the assumption that I had some fondness for them and wanted them to be happy. And, really, because it’s just not that hard to idly fling your arms over someone like spaghetti for a few minutes. Not that hard. Really.

In conclusion, I think this doll is dumb.

That aside! Do you have trouble getting your boyfriend/husband/random person to cuddle? Isn’t this kind of like talking about how men have to beg and coerce women to have sex with them? That is to say, something that trades on a totally outmoded stereotype? Maybe?

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  • Becks

    NOT AT ALL! If anything my boyfriend likes to cuddle more than I do. Apparently it’s weird, but a welcome change from my ex who found cudding ‘too warm’.

  • Carolyn

    My ex was a cuddling machine, almost too much so. The current guy I’m seeing always says he’s ‘too hot’ to cuddle…(it’s true, he does overheat very easily, but its also that he doesn’t really like cuddling) He gives me after sex cuddling but that’s about it. I think all people (men and women alike – I don’t think it’s gender contingent) have different cuddle needs and thresholds. I’m somewhere in the middle range…

  • Megan

    I have my stuffed mouse that my parents gave me when I was born. WIN.

  • Beth

    I can get most people to cuddle, assuming I want to cuddle them. I’ve only have one random f*** buddy that refused to cuddle and I was ok with that because he was an arse, but a damn good f***.

  • Hannah Beth

    We usually cuddle before sex. Somehow being close to each other spreads the heat slowly, almost too slowly to notice… until we notice.
    After-sex cuddling? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on how hot we are.

  • Lindsay Cross

    Ummm… I like to cuddle. A lot. My husband never seems to mind, although I think it took him a little while to get used to. To be fair, he often works nights, so we almost never sleep at the same time. But the one night of week that we do, we cuddle. All night long.

  • Jessica

    I think my husband has a harder time getting me to cuddle. I have to constantly remind myself to cuddle after sex. I’ve also had to learn how to cuddle at night, however we compromise because I can’t sleep long while cuddling. I’m not sure which one of us is the odd one in this regard…maybe we’re both a bit strange.

  • Jen Dziura

    Maybe instead of a cuddling doll, someone should invent cooling pajamas to solve the ostensible problem presented here.

  • M

    My boyfriend and I are both cuddly people so it’s a non-issue, except for the fact that we’re long-distance most of the time [he goes to college in a different state]; then it’s just the absence of cuddling that can be upsetting. However, most of my friends are guys [and most of my guy friends are straight] and most of them are also very comfortable with physical contact, even with each other [read: not just with me and other chicks], so I don’t put much store in the stereotype. It’s useful because I still get my fix in even when the boy is away.