How Do You Feel About Romantic Spectacle?

TheFrisky is running a poll about romantic gestures that would win you over. One of them is “stand outside your window with a boom box.” And people are going for it! Which is interesting, because they’ve just described my worst fear. Romantic spectacle is a little different than public displays of affection, because I feel like PDAs just signify uncontrollable lust, and I can excuse that. But romantic spectacle seems like you want to run around screaming “I’m in a relationship!” And I feel like when people do stuff like hold up a boom-box, they turn your relationship into some bizarre, highly visible freak show. And then you’re just a carnie, aren’t you? THEY TURN YOU INTO A CARNIE.

Maybe not. I don’t know. Apparently some people love really public declarations of love and don’t regard singing, dancing proposals as the stuff of nightmares. If you’re one of those people, please describe the appeal, because I recently watched a man attempt to serenade a woman at a karaoke bar – where it was appropriate to do so – and I felt a little uncomfortable on the woman’s behalf. That said, I guess I do like it when people send flowers to my office but that seems… different. Maybe because flowers just sing “In Your Eyes” really quietly. There’s a fine line here, and I’m not sure when that line is crossed. How do you feel about spectacle?

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    • Allie

      I despise gestures. It’s contrived and seems silly and who the hell does stuff like that? I’d recommend spending time doing something that’s actually going to make the other person’s life better for real, like helping them plan a trip or buying them coffee or talking over work stuff or even doing the dishes. Or a hug. Hugs are good (in private). Or sex. Sex helps too (maybe in private).

    • Dove

      Eh, I’m with Jennifer. I don’t hate them but they make me uncomfortable. My husband once showed up at my office over summer break (when we were bf/gf in college) with a single rose in a vase and lunch. It was so, so sweet but I was kind of dying inside too. I’d way rather just have flowers sitting in a pretty vase, or as Allie mentions, maybe do the dishes. A clean apartment is very, very sexy.

    • Eileen

      I hate them. One of my greatest fears in life is receiving a marriage proposal in public.

      I wish I could say I were kidding.

    • M

      I’m not big on showy romance but the sweet things he does make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I’d definitely rather have that than some singing telegram or whatever. When we started dating I was working at Starbucks and he would get takeout and meet me so we could spend my lunch breaks together. Between getting over to my work and picking up food he’d have to drive/etc at least an hour, all so we could spend my crappy thirty-minute break together [aka really about 25 tops when you factor in getting off the floor and then being ready to go again within a half hour]. Sometimes he’d end up sitting in his car for awhile too, if we were busy and I couldn’t take my lunch yet. Other times he’ll do the dishes or vacuum or do my laundry something else I was complaining about and putting off while I’m at class in the morning. I got myself a keeper. :)

      If you ask him, the most romantic thing I’ve ever done was when he came home for his spring break last year. His car was here and a wheel bearing had gone out right before he went back for winter break, and he was irritated about having to coordinate fixing it with our friend who has a press at work in the short time he was going to be home. We met up at another friend’s place [they go to school in the same state so he rode back with him], and then I popped open my trunk and handed him the spindle off his car with a new bearing already pressed in. And then I reached in again and gave him a box of hammers. Because flowers die, but hammers are forever.

      • Joe

        Yeah. So I’m certain that you just made a lot of guys jealous of your BF. Kudos to both of you.