I love talking about being “ballsy.”
Testicles are very delicate – very important, yes, but also very delicate. Like, say, eyeballs. Important, but quite fragile! Yet no one ever says “Eyeballs out, ladies! Let’s do this!”
So, when is it important to be ballsy? More specifically, when is it time to make massive life changes to get ahead?
There was once a time that I worried I was clinically depressed and would require medication I could not afford. After all, depression is a disease, right? It’s all chemicals in your brain? Clearly, sometimes, that is the case. It is especially not difficult to understand that the drastic hormonal changes related to pregnancy and childbirth might marinate a person’s cerebellum in liquid melancholia.
But, in my case, I was running a failing company in a dead-end town, I couldn’t pay my bills, I hadn’t had fun in (actual) years, my landlord was threatening to evict my startup, and I had cut out exercising and friendships in order to make more time to fail at things. So, I don’t think that was a case of my brain randomly deciding to make some depressing chemicals. I think that was a very rational reason to be bummed out.
It turned out that the “solution” was to give up on a solution: close up shop, admit that the only big, adult thing I’d ever done in my life was a failure, and move to New York with $400 and zero knowledge of urban living (Note: once, someone asked me to meet him on 34th St “outside the H&M,” and I checked every street corner looking for the subway entrance to the H and M trains, because I did not know that H&M was a store).
It all worked out, obviously. But it took much, much longer than I thought it would to regain my bearings, and massive life change is generally incredibly painful, or else sort of freeing in a deeply disorienting way, much like starting over in one of those post-apocalyptic movies in which everyone the main character knows is dead, but there’s no time to think about it, because avian-flu zombies are waging war over the world’s water supply.
Let’s talk about two situations in which massive life changes may be in order. (Note: TheGloss is a pretty young crowd, and accordingly, the below is aimed at relatively unattached young people. Do not abandon your children. Repeat: Do not abandon your children.)