Real Talk: Our Fantasy Weddings

My fantasy wedding takes place halfway through a monster truck rally, but I guess my co-workers* are determined to be sappy girls about everything all the time.

*whose names I have changed, mostly so their boyfriends aren’t freaked out.

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    • Marian

      St. John’s College woot woot!

    • Megan

      I was married in a big Catholic church wedding with a reception at a country club. In my dress (that wasn’t my choice, I swear) I was told that I looked like “a perfect Victorian doll.”

      Fuck that.

      My dad has a huge, gorgeous backyard. Hot tub, gardens, volleyball, double level deck. I wanted a few kegs of beer, Jello shots, and a potluck dinner. No gifts, just bring food or alcohol. I’d wear a sundress and we’d do the vows in the garden…right before we broke out the Jello shots. Informal, friendly, and big without being a production.

      I was overruled.

    • Eileen

      I want to be married in front of the fountain in Lincoln Center, after which we’d retreat into the Met for the reception (yes, I seem to be having a lot of Met-themed comments this week…) I’m pretty sure this is a wedding that cannot happen, but it’s what I want.

    • BD Weiner

      If Roseland tells her dream to her perspective dates, then I’m sure she will get her wedding, her way, marrying a very nice gay boy who shares her vision. .

    • Emma

      I want mine to also be a Halloween party.

    • Lindsay Cross

      Was I not included in this because I’ve already had a wedding? Didn’t you all want to hear about my special day? Too bad, I’m sharing anyways. We took our immediate families to the Appalachians, rented a bunch of great cabins and had a small, private wedding. And honestly, I wouldn’t change a single thing!

    • Abby

      My mom planned mine so I didn’t have to stress out about it. The ceremony was outside (and short) and the reception was inside because my dad “wasn’t interested in paying all that money for something that could get rained on”.
      All I had to do was show up with my dress and my fiance and party. It rocked.
      The venue told us the next day that my party (of 100 guests) consumed more alcohol than any party that they had ever had at the location. I still tell people that because I’m really proud of it.

      • M

        I think you’re rightfully proud. :) Of all these scenarios, yours sounds the closest to something I would actually want.

    • M

      I almost never think about these things, but on the rare occasions I do I always come to the same conclusion: if I ever do get married, we will probably either elope or do a super small City Hall whatever. And then we’ll just have an informal raucous reception for all our crazy friends afterward. And maybe a smaller less raucous more formal reception for family, because I think a lot of my family would be terrified by the sort of pizza-and-beer-fueled celebration that would happen with our friends.

      If for some reason we feel getting married needs to be slightly fancier it would probably still be tiny but on the beach, because my boyfriend has mentioned a couple times that he wouldn’t mind getting married on the beach and I don’t really care but I do also like going to the beach in general. The same reception ideas would apply though. And my best friend would probably end up being my unofficial wedding planner because I hate planning and suck at it royally, while she loves it and is awesome. She got married about a year ago and planned everything and we made almost everything [except the meal-food and the clothes; she and her mom still made the cake though]. It was small and intimate and at her parents’ house, and it was absolutely gorgeous and perfect and also incredibly cheap. We were talking after the ceremony and I mentioned that if for some unforeseen reason I do end up someday having a real wedding, she’ll probably have to figure everything out for me. She laughed and said she’s known that since we were 14. And then went on to say she would probably enjoy it a lot more than planning her own wedding because for hers she was freaking out about everything having to be perfect, whereas she knows if I were getting married I wouldn’t care what disasters happened so long as I ended up hitched to the right person at the end so it would be all the party-planning fun without the soul-killing stress. Sounds like a good deal to me.

    • sheherbano

      is Rosalind ashley? please tell.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        lord no, but i’m flattered you think i’m so balls to the wall. i’m a low-key ceremony girl, if any.

      • Jennifer Wright

        Oh, fine, it might have been me. Look, sometimes I see Trinity Church and think “now that would be a fine place for my wedding.” But it’s going to be so hard to get the 750 guests from there to the New York Public Library where we’re having the reception! And HOW ARE WE GOING TO FIND APPROPRIATELY LARGE TOP HATS FOR THE NYPL LIONS TO WEAR ON MY SPECIAL DAY SHEHERBANO?

      • sheherbano

        i was thinking it was you before (honest!) but then i remembered you’d said you were asking other people. SO MANY LIES.

        also, i have a collection of top hats. they’re all orange, though.

      • Jennifer Wright

        I asked other people but I was disgusted by how cool about things they were being when clearly the most fun you can have with a wedding is to attack it as though you are a general invading a small country.

        I’ll be wearing a Napoleon Hat with a veil.

    • Lisa

      When I visit St. John’s I am SO going to the Thai food and donuts place.

    • Rebekah Mae

      “Elizabeth” pretty much just described my dream wedding. Only I’d have mine in a garden, not really into vineyards.

    • Dove

      rented a big house for the weekend on the lake, so all of our friends could stay for free. basically a weekend-long party/college reunion. loved it, and cheap for my friends. (i’m de-friending the next person who invites me to a destination wedding in the bahamas. i’ll plan my own vacations, thank you.)