Girls Who Like Rock N’ Roll Are Whores, Says Study

Here’s a curious study for you: Men’s Health reports on “research” done by website (about which we’ve opined in the past) that shows that chicks who listen to Nirvana are more likely to put out on a first date than chicks who listen to Coldplay.

Well. Yes. That’s not really that surprising, is it? I hate to have to boil it down to this, but if we simply look at who the members of the band are (or have been) married to, the lead singer of Coldplay’s wife doesn’t seem like she’d be leaping into the sack with quite as much gusto as…oh, I don’t know…Courtney Love, does she?

Macrobiotic colon-cleanser vs. whiskey-drinking former stripper.

Pretty, pretty princess vs. grunge-rock phenom.

When one imagines sex with a Coldplay groupie, one can’t help but think of something involving a lot of skinny, pale limbs and not enough lubrication, something where one or both parties will cry at the end, something that will be the direct impetus for poetry.

Sex with a Nirvana groupie, on the other hand, well, that’s sex with someone who’s either so depressed that they don’t care who’s fucking them (a possible explanation for the likelihood of their putting out on a first date), or someone who might cut you while you’re fucking, and then enjoy a good laugh as you bleed.

Honestly, which sounds more interesting?

Men’s Health gets a little more into the science behind it, interviewing psychology professor Sena Agbo-Quaye, Ph.D., who looks not at the partners of the frontmen, but at the frontmen themselves:

“Cobain lived the rock and roll lifestyle, whereas Martin plays the conscious sweet boy role. They are normalizing very different behaviors.

Indeed, sir. Indeed they are.

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    • Christina

      “Listeners respond to the dominant messages in music and accept them as normal, which indicates that they’re more likely to partake in such behaviors, says Sena Agbo-Quaye, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Buckinghamshire New University in the U.K.”
      How odd. As if listeners are just passively taking in the “dominant messages” in the music they listen to. Couldn’t possibly be listening to said music in the first place because it responds to their needs.

    • Christina

      And about your headline: the “study” didn’t differentiate between male and female users of the site.

    • tiadora

      Sorry, but I did not follow this article at all. first off, the groups popularity peaked at different times early 90′s Nirvanna and late 90′s to early 2000′s for Cold Play. Groupies will be groupies and who’s to say Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t put out on the first night. as the cliche goes, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”.

    • Maria Nicolas

      wow this must be the gay-est thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m actually gay.

    • Mel

      This is made by a narrow minded person, sorry but it’s really dumb.