• Mon, Apr 25 2011

Date Coach Matt Titus On Whether You Should Wait Like Kate

 

As we gear up for the Royal Wedding, date coach Matt Titus weighs in on what Kate did right – and wrong. If you want more information on how you can find your own prince, he is offering a 45 minute session for $39 through KGB Deals.

Kate got nicknamed Waity Kaity after waiting for William to propose for 7 years. How long would you recommend people wait for someone they’re in a relationship with to commit?

18 months. We do a lot of research regarding men and commitment, so once the relationship has been established for exclusivity it should be no longer the 18 months. If a man can’t get your life with him together in that time frame then he’s sending you a signal that you’re not the one.

Does that time frame change dependent on circumstances? If say, his parents went through a messy divorce as Prince William’s did?

A man is a man is a man. We talk about a way to treat a man the first 90 days, capital MANagement. Even though a guy might be a notorious successful bachelor or have family problems, you can take these mitigating circumstances into account, but the baseline is 18 months. No matter what experiences he’s had, he should be able to get it together in that time-frame.

Prince William said years ago that he didn’t want to get married until 28. Now, both he and Kate are 28, and getting married. Do you feel that’s an appropriate age?

I don’t think men are ready to commit until they are 35. No matter who they are. I think if you can be as established as possible, living a single life and being selfish for a while, all these things are very important. And that’s what makes me believe you have to be in your mid thirties. Of course, it’s a different situation because they’re royalty, but I think in general 35 years old is the best age.

Kate used a sheer dress to catch Prince William’s attention. Should women err on the side of provocative clothing when on the first date?

Definitely. Men are driven by what they see. You need to ask yourself: what is your value proposition? Aesthetically is it your breast, your hips, your legs? Whatever it is, accentuate it! Not to the hooker extent. But if you have great boobs wear your best bra and make sure there is some cleavage, if you have a great butt play that up. Do something that will create a sexual fantasy in the guy’s mind and let him chase that fantasy for as long as possible. It’s the guy. It’s all the guy determining this. Men are instinctively driven by sexuality, and women need to know how to handle that.

Kate is a commoner and Will is a royal. Do you think coming from different backgrounds can create problems in a relationship?

Absolutely. I used to think opposites attract. I still believe they do attract initially, but there become problems once that attraction fades. So things like upbringing, financial and social status, those things always help a relationship. Though I think the royals need to be able to have it their way, and I think when a commoner comes into their home turf, or their culture, it’s a given that they’ll have to abide by the royal’s rules. I think there could be a lot of conflicts with two royals based on royal cultures, because they might be used to very different things, and both could be uncompromising. A commoner will bend a lot easier and follow the rules a bit better than someone who has the same type of fame and paparazzi following them around.

How can you politely tell your man he is balding?

I think you always need to be positive. If he’s balding and has a great looking face, say “you have a great jawline and your eyes really pop. Shave your head! Because your head isn’t accenting how great the rest of you is.” It always hs to be backed up by a positive comment. Say “you have a great body, you have a lot of testosterone, your hair just isn’t doing you any favors.”

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  • MelbaToast

    Why do you need to tell your man he is balding? Do you think he doesn’t know? Perhaps after you tell him that, he will politely tell you that your thighs are getting a little chunky. Then you can hold hands as you skip to the store to buy a gallon of ice cream which he will feed to you in the park while you both laugh at the passers-by who are permanently blinded by the sunlight reflecting off your lover’s bald head.

  • Elizabeth

    I don’t really think their relationship counts as 7 years of waiting when the first 4 or so were in college. I don’t know about Kate, but I certainly wasn’t wanting to get married in college.

  • joanntheredhead

    Good God! This is why I would never hire a “dating coach”…ever! You can strategize, analyze, and criticize all you want, but in the end–love works or it doesn’t.

    Do you guys remember the episode of “Friends” in which Ross (along with his cohorts, Joey and Chandler) is trying to choose between Rachel and Julie? They start a “pro” and “con” list for each woman. Ross gets in big trouble when Rachel, upon discovering the list, is hurt that he calls out her being “just a waitress” as one of her “cons”–and subsequently storms out on him. But, in her hurt and anger, she leaves before being made aware that even Ross himself had come to find the “pro/con”list irrelevant. The most heartbreaking part of the episode was that she doesn’t yet get to see how much he–for whatever the reasons– really loves her. What she hadn’t seen was that–when asked by Chandler what Julie’s “cons” were–Ross simply said: “She isn’t Rachel.” And that that was all he needed to know.

    And THAT is how love works…

  • andrea dunlop

    Why do I have a feeling this dude wouldn’t similarly recommend women waiting until they’re 35 to commit…

  • JA

    This guy seems kinda crazy. I don’t know about everyone else, but I sure as hell don’t think love runs on a schedule, nor do relationships in general.

  • Lexie

    So…if you’re in your 20s…and have a great relationship…you should end things after 18 months…because then he’s really not committed? Also, he probably doesn’t own a mirror because he doesn’t realize he’s balding…

    I’m so glad I’ve never hired a dating coach.

  • Kristen

    This made no sense. If he’s not ready to commit after 18 months, he won’t ever be. BUT he won’t be ready to commit until he’s 35 or so. So, if I’m 27 and in a 3-year relationship… where does that leave me? Some sort of black hole of time?

    Also, it’s great for a guy to be able to wait until he’s in his mid-30s. But if he’s with a same-age partner, and she wants to get married before having kids, she can’t necessarily risk waiting around that long. I’m not saying it could never work, but this is idiotic “advice” to just give out to the general public.

    • Dove

      This is EXACTLY what I was thinking when I read this. Every part of what you wrote.

      This article seems weirdly out of place on ths website, which normally has such sane advice…

  • nunya

    Lol @melbatoast, that sounds perfect! Also, how do you compliment your partner on testosterone? By noting how much stronger their pee smells? I want to think this is a joke, but sadly that’s probably not the case. I don’t personally want to attract men solely based on my tatas. But that’s likely due to my desire to be with a partner, not date a breast groping machine.

  • matbo

    I also hate the implication that it is the woman waiting, like her only goal is marriage and she must wait for man to give it to her. Maybe they both wanted to live a little before settling down in a very restricted royal life?