• Tue, Apr 26 2011

In Defense Of Camilla Parker Bowles

This morning a friend of ours that we gave the pseudonym Jerkface declared, “If I was a prince I’d marry Grace Kelly or someone just beautiful like a fucking angel and then I’d have an insanely hot and stupid sidepiece for when my class-act princess wife won’t do gross stuff.”

Which made us think about Prince Charle’s long-term sidepiece, Camilla Parker Bowles. You know. Who did the gross stuff.

No wonder I like her a lot.

I guess this period surrounding the royal wedding is a good time to touch on the fact that William’s dad is married again. The affair between Charles and Camilla seems to go along with royal weddings especially because, memorably, when Diana found out that Charles was still seeing Camilla right before the wedding, her sister told her “”Too late, Duch (the family name for Diana), your face is already on the tea towels.”

I’d like to think that we’ve come a long way and that Kate would be the kind of person who could reply “I don’t really place that much value on tea towels. They are tea towels. The commemorative fake nails, however…”

And I’d also like to think that we’re past the “hot sidepiece” era. Still, with stories like that, and the great love felt towards Diana, it’s little wonder that Camilla wasn’t exactly embraced when Charles did marry her. In 1993 she was pelted with rolls in a supermarket, and she never made that much progress. According to the BBC 39% of Brits polled disapproved of the 2005 marriage.

And it probably didn’t help that while Diana was a glamorous beauty, Camilla was plain by comparison.

But that’s always made me like her more.

And look, she and Charles have been in love for 40 years.  That’s absurdly charming. And I’ve always believed that if Charles and Camilla met today, they would be married, and it never would have been an issue. Did you know how Camilla met Charles? She went up to him at a polo match and declared, “‘My great-grandmother was the mistress of your great-grandfather – so how about it?’ That’s a really strong line. An Prince Charles was apparently instantly smitten. But Prince Charles dithered (perhaps because of his great uncle’s conviction that women-who’ve-been-bedded-can’t-be-wedded), and Camilla was shortly thereafter proposed to by Andrew Parker Bowles.

Yeah, Charles should have moved quicker.

And I’m not defending their affair, because, okay, affairs are very bad. But nearly 15 years after their first meeting Charles was still professing a desire to live inside Camilla’s lady-parts like a tampon. Which is a really weird thing to say. But! Also kind of nice. I’ve always felt the intent on that was pleasant, it was just… the use of the word tampon that really killed it. If he’d said “I want to live inside you, preferably near your pancreas, as though I were a miniature explorer in The Fantastic Voyage” it would just be the kind of thing that absolutely everyone says when they’re in love. Though people don’t always say such things after 15 years.

And after 40, they still seem rather thrilled to be together. It makes sense, too. They seem to share the same sort of dowdy, horsey outlook. They like polo matches and discussing “the high cost of modern life.” (Seriously. Hopefully at polo matches). She seems a better match for Charles than Diana, for all her grace and elegance, ever did. And while I’m delighted to read about young love between Kate and William, 7 years isn’t really that long. We’ll see where they are in 40.

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  • porkchop

    I could never figure out why people would dog Camilla. Everyone can’t be Helen Mirren. In fact, 99% of upper class English women are boring to look at, and Camilla was totally cute in the 70s. Plus she’s fierce/insane for being all, Yeah, I’m a pariah in my country because I’m not beautiful and tragic, and I have to put up with a lifetime of grief about it, but Prince Charles is WORTH IT. You do what you’ve got to do, lady.

  • Eileen

    I agree! No, she’s not beautiful like Diana. But he loved/loves her for who she is (despite having the gorgeous wife) – shouldn’t that make them more romantic?

    I always felt sorry for Charles, actually. He was pretty much told that he had to marry a beautiful, well born virgin with absolutely no “past” that could be dangerous. How hard is it just to find a woman you LOVE, let alone one you like who meets those standards? And he seemed to like Diana well enough; if they’d lived a hundred years ago they probably would have had a happy royal marriage (friendly working relationship, cute kids, but not monogamous love match) – but they lived in the 1980s, and he was expected to live a normal marriage, despite the fact that he couldn’t find the wife he wanted like normal men.

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  • Milissa

    Adultery is adultery. Trying to moralize it does nothing but show badly on the person.

  • PAULA

    I don’t particularly feel very warm towards Camilla, but I admire her guts immensely! And she finally got her man – good for her! This is a true love story.

  • Abby

    In fact, everyone supposed to be held responsible in this situation, love triangle……the first man to be blamed is the one who claimed that women-who’ve-been-bedded-can’t-be-wedded=> resulted prince charles married someone that he don’t love…….the 2nd is prince charles. if he hold strictly to his decision and insisted to marry camilla, no one can force him to do something that he’s not willing to do…… the 3rd is camilla, if she would have waited longer before she married to andrew, and use time to prove their true love, maybe this will change everyone’s mindset from thinking women-who’ve-been-bedded-can’t-be-wedded => the power of true love cant set them apart and finally approve them being together and get married…..4th is diana. yes, sometimes it can happened that the person that you loved or desired might not be the one that you married. Diana already knew somethings in between charles and camilla during her wedding day, but if she tried to pretend nothing happened and do something at her very best to save her marriage, such as, try to understand more about her husband in terms of his hobbies, interest, like, dislike, favourite food…practised something that can get herself into something where both can share the same interest…set a special day for only both of them, away from the crowd and family, where diana prepare some good cooking or surprise for charles…..show charles with more love and care….maybe things would not be as what it happened now. The unhappy feeling or hate on diana at the first place, might have caused her to do something that indirectly set them apart and even more far away.

  • Abby

    Many people may start to think how will it be for Kate & Will when they are in their 40′s. But, definitely will be very much better compare to charles/diana because their marriage comes from love, not decision made by others.

    I’ve read a magazine before about both of them, kate & will….it should be something like they splitted once because william insisted to wait until 30 years old, then only he will settle down and kate were not willing to wait…but, thank god, they are finally married…..if not, I’m afraid william may repeat almost the same story as his father where he married someone he dont really like because kate had left him.

    Anyway, i really wish both of them can live happily ever after….be faithful to each other…..most of the time, woman is more sensitive, so, hope william can be tolerate…..if there is argument, just walk away for a while to calm down, after cool down try to apologize to each other => this is best to avoid scolded something we regret later…..if there is misunderstanding, try to talk out and don’t keep to yourself, or else you will keep assuming and guessing but never know the truth, finally things become worse.

    REMEMBER : it is fate & love that brought both of u together, and you have to appreciate it