• Wed, Apr 27 2011

Famous, Awesome Royal Mistresses Throughout History

Yesterday, we shared an incredibly stupid comment made by an anonymous feeler of feelings on whether or not men want to marry Kate Middleton. The opinion haver said: “If I was a prince I’d marry Grace Kelly or someone just beautiful like a fucking angel and then I’d have an insanely hot and stupid sidepiece for when my class-act princess wife won’t do gross stuff.” Which boils down to, when you’re a prince, you should have a beautiful, classy princess and a hot, stupid mistress. Something something Royal Wedding.

Anyway. Here’s a gallery in honor of history’s best royal sidepieces.

 

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  • j

    Adultery is wrong.

    • oja

      indeed

    • Hannah Beth

      Yeah. Don’t cheat. Maybe we can say they’re famous awesome women with royal connections who also kind of suck and who just hooked up with royals because they were royals because come on, it’s not like those royal men were that attractive or polite…. I don’t know what I’m saying anymore, but I hope you get the point.

    • Eileen

      Not all of these men were married when they were with these women.

      Also, when you’re royal and your wife is related to you, someone you didn’t meet until after the wedding (marriage by proxy for the win), someone you really don’t like and who doesn’t like you, and totally sleeping with someone else herself…it’s not entirely the same as normal-people adultery.

  • Eileen

    Camilla’s name was Shand; her first husband’s name was Parker Bowles. Her name was never “Parker.”

    Also, Jennifer should be barred from this list, because du Barry? Seriously? If you’re going to name another French mistress, my vote is for Mme. de Maintenon, who actually managed to become the king’s second wife. Plus if you say her title, it kind of sounds like “the Marquise of NOW,” which is pretty cool.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Corrected.

  • Jen

    Prince of WHales?? unless he is somehow royalty of the ocean i think you mean prince of Wales…. though the former is exponentially more awesome! :)

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Typo (hopefully obvious; please note my last name) but that does sound pretty cool. Especially if you had sonar.

  • porkchop

    Where is Lucy Mercer? FDR is definitely a King of America. Lucy gets extra mistress points because Eleanor Roosevelt offered to give her Franklin, but by then he was damaged goods and she said no, I’ll just keep seeing him behind your back.

  • Baker Girl

    Madame de Pomepador wins in my book. Any mistress who has a Docotor Who episode about her wins! And she was also really cool … she was like a second queen!

  • ducky

    the gloss is providing the only royal wedding coverage i care about.

  • Terra

    Was so excited to see my favorite sonnet on here until I realized how misinterpreted it was. You do know the reason the sonnet is romantic is because the couplet summarizes how he made those comparisons because they were realistic (no one’s eyes are REALLY like the sun) and he respected the woman so much he wasn’t going to belittle her with meaningless metaphors?
    It’s like the sonnet-for-smart-girls anthem!

  • lizards first rule

    almost disturbingly tasteless… and yet…

  • Dana

    Hahaha Tiger’s sidepieces. Your Royal Wedding coverage is AWESOME!

  • Eve

    What about Nell Gwynne?

  • Rose

    Alice Keppel looks like Tim Curry.