Famous, Awesome Royal Mistresses Throughout History

Yesterday, we shared an incredibly stupid comment made by an anonymous feeler of feelings on whether or not men want to marry Kate Middleton. The opinion haver said: “If I was a prince I’d marry Grace Kelly or someone just beautiful like a fucking angel and then I’d have an insanely hot and stupid sidepiece for when my class-act princess wife won’t do gross stuff.” Which boils down to, when you’re a prince, you should have a beautiful, classy princess and a hot, stupid mistress. Something something Royal Wedding.

Anyway. Here’s a gallery in honor of history’s best royal sidepieces.

 

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    • j

      Adultery is wrong.

      • oja

        indeed

      • Hannah Beth

        Yeah. Don’t cheat. Maybe we can say they’re famous awesome women with royal connections who also kind of suck and who just hooked up with royals because they were royals because come on, it’s not like those royal men were that attractive or polite…. I don’t know what I’m saying anymore, but I hope you get the point.

      • Eileen

        Not all of these men were married when they were with these women.

        Also, when you’re royal and your wife is related to you, someone you didn’t meet until after the wedding (marriage by proxy for the win), someone you really don’t like and who doesn’t like you, and totally sleeping with someone else herself…it’s not entirely the same as normal-people adultery.

    • Eileen

      Camilla’s name was Shand; her first husband’s name was Parker Bowles. Her name was never “Parker.”

      Also, Jennifer should be barred from this list, because du Barry? Seriously? If you’re going to name another French mistress, my vote is for Mme. de Maintenon, who actually managed to become the king’s second wife. Plus if you say her title, it kind of sounds like “the Marquise of NOW,” which is pretty cool.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Corrected.

    • Jen

      Prince of WHales?? unless he is somehow royalty of the ocean i think you mean prince of Wales…. though the former is exponentially more awesome! :)

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Typo (hopefully obvious; please note my last name) but that does sound pretty cool. Especially if you had sonar.

    • porkchop

      Where is Lucy Mercer? FDR is definitely a King of America. Lucy gets extra mistress points because Eleanor Roosevelt offered to give her Franklin, but by then he was damaged goods and she said no, I’ll just keep seeing him behind your back.

    • Baker Girl

      Madame de Pomepador wins in my book. Any mistress who has a Docotor Who episode about her wins! And she was also really cool … she was like a second queen!

    • ducky

      the gloss is providing the only royal wedding coverage i care about.

    • Terra

      Was so excited to see my favorite sonnet on here until I realized how misinterpreted it was. You do know the reason the sonnet is romantic is because the couplet summarizes how he made those comparisons because they were realistic (no one’s eyes are REALLY like the sun) and he respected the woman so much he wasn’t going to belittle her with meaningless metaphors?
      It’s like the sonnet-for-smart-girls anthem!

    • lizards first rule

      almost disturbingly tasteless… and yet…

    • Dana

      Hahaha Tiger’s sidepieces. Your Royal Wedding coverage is AWESOME!

    • Eve

      What about Nell Gwynne?

    • Rose

      Alice Keppel looks like Tim Curry.