• Thu, May 5 2011

There Was A Security Plan In Place If Kate Middleton Tried To Run

Don’t pretend that it didn’t occur to you that Kate Middleton might try to bolt from the wedding at the last minute. Who didn’t fantasize about Rupert Finch suddenly leaping up during the “speak now or forever hold your peace” part and whisking her away? Just like The Graduate! What would have happened? Fortunately, security had a plan in place for “Operation Pumpkin.” According to The Register:

“Frankly, it’s a nightmare scenario,” one highly-placed MI5 source confessed to the Reg yesterday. “But you have to plan for every possible contingency, and let’s face it, this one’s hardly that unlikely, is it? Obviously we had to get together with Clarence House and work something out.”

So they worked out an excellent plan wherein William would be allowed to run after Kate for “up to but not more than half a mile.”

If the Prince fails to intercept Ms Middleton over that distance, the security team will decide that no on-the-spot reconciliation is possible and a strategically positioned taxi, driven by an undercover SAS operative and unobtrusively escorted by several unmarked police cars, will opportunely pull up to carry the escaping ex-future-princess to safety.

On the other hand if Wills manages to come up with Kate he will be allowed to attempt to persuade her to return with him for a limited period.

I’m really counting on Chelsy Davy to make this kind of mayhem happen.

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  • Eileen

    “Up to but not more than half a mile”?

    I don’t care how great a runner she is, there’s no way he couldn’t catch her in half a mile, given how a) tight and b) train-ed that dress was.

    • kjon

      Can you imagine though? Like a low speed car chase.

    • Jennifer Wright

      I think the coolest part is what would happen once she was inevitably caught. Do you think he’d be allowed to just tackle her?

  • ellie

    This would have been hilarious. And they could have had the wedding sponsored by nike and lifetime could have done a sequel to the ‘how they met’ film as well. Everybody wins!

  • Joe

    If she runs, the hell with her. Just go down the line to bridesmaid number one.