• Mon, May 9 2011

Poll: Do You Want to See Pippa Middleton In Porn?

Pippa Middleton has been offered $5 million dollars to star in one “explicit scene” of an adult film. Steven Hirsch, the head of Vivid Entertainment wrote her a letter stating:

As far as I was concerned, you were the star of the recent Royal Wedding. As I watched a broadcast of the event I couldn’t help but think that with your beauty and attitude, you could be an enormously successful adult star.

This week, after seeing photos of you having a great time at a party, I decided to offer you a role in one of our upcoming movies.

For just one explicit scene I would be pleased to offer you $5 million and, of course, you would have your choice of partners. If you would like to bring your brother James along, he could appear in a separate scene for another $1 million.

God, I bet Pippa feels really embarrassed now. At least, I would. I mean, if I thought I was walking around looking all great in my McQueen and someone was like “hey, you look like a porn star!” I’m pretty sure that Steven Hirsch was the only person who watched the pretty lady in the pretty white dress competently escorting children into a church and thought “porn star!” But sometimes I think too “inside the box.” So, Pippa, you looked like the most elegant porn lady in all the land.

But let’s enter a parallel dimension where Pippa accepts this man’s generous offer! What would happen? Would the monarchy fall apart? No, surely not. I mean, there are lots of royal families who have one black sheep in the family. But most black sheep took some naked pictures when they were 19, not at 27, and not after their sister had married the future King of England. I think, if Pippa did do this, the royal response would be fascinating, as would what it says about societal attitudes towards sex and porn in the modern day. You know who this didn’t happen to? Princess Di’s sisters. Hasn’t the world changed? Hasn’t it just changed so much?

All that said, would you want to see Pippa Middleton in porn? Vote!

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

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  • Eileen

    That’s because Sarah and Jane Spencer weren’t nearly as pretty as Pippa Middleton. And they didn’t wear clinging dresses with low necks to the wedding.

    I like that he offers her her choice of partners, though.

  • Shae

    First off, I enjoy that he says she can bring her brother along TO FILM A PORNO, and then oh-so-politely offers to put him in a different scene. Nice to know we can draw a line, right?

    Also, am I missing something here about Pippa’s dress? Did she pick it out herself or something? I was under the impression that it would have been chosen for her or vetted in some way to insure that it wasn’t inappropriate. I mean, it’s not like she was a guest and could wear whatever the hell she wanted. She was a member of the wedding party!

    • Eileen

      Oh, I wasn’t criticizing her dress or calling it inappropriate – just pointing out that she looked prettier and, well, sexier than Diana’s sisters at her wedding (since Jennifer joked about how they didn’t get porn invites).

  • BritneySpears

    I don’t really know why everyone is so wrapped up in this. Pippa has an ok body, but her face looks like a man. Kate is so much prettier.. Who agrees with me?

    • Arianna

      I think Pippa has a gr8 body!! But i do agree that kate has a prettier, softer face…