Have you ever wished you had large, cartoon cat ears with which to telegraph your every emotion? Just poking out of your head, all natural-like? No? Well, apparently a lot of people in Japan have, because a Japanese company called Neurowear has invented just that. The Japanese imagination is somewhat more fantastical than our own. (Note: do not Google image search “cute Japanese girls with cat ears” unless you have safe search turned on.)
Working on the power of some frighteningly advanced brainwave technology, the ears stand up when one is concentrating (on, say, eating a donut), and lie down when one is relaxed. “If you are concentrating and relaxing at the same time,” says the website, “your new ears will rise and actively move. In general, professional sports players demonstrate this ability the most.” I can’t wait to see what happens when they slap some of these on Joe Montana. After all, he’s already endorsed Skechers Shape-Ups, an equally, if not more, absurd item.
Despite not being publicly available yet, the cat ears have already garnered over 2,000 “likes” on Facebook and probably countless ordering attempts, prompting their inventors to post, “When we announce about the product, we will tell you in website or facebook. Please give us a little more time…” Are these things going to be the next feather extensions, or will they stay in the furry and cosplay communities where they belong? Have Japanese scientists seriously solved all human problems to the point where they’re focusing on mind controlled cat ears for people? How do I make my cat ears say “don’t fuck with me, I’m drunk and PMS-ing today”? With any luck, these questions will all be answered in time.