PBR’s Move To LA Means Major Life Decision For Hipsters

We are about to see some confused hipsters walking the streets of Williamsburg and Silver Lake. Why? Because Pabst Brewing Company, maker of PBR, is moving its headquarters from Woodbridge, Illinois to Los Angeles.

Branding experts quoted in the Chicago Tribune worry that by leaving behind its Midwest roots and landing in Los Angeles, of all places, the brand could do the unthinkable in the eyes of hipsters: become self-aware. In other words, the move to Los Angeles puts PBR at risk for becoming unhip by acknowledging that it’s hip for being unhip.

Let’s get to the bottom of what that means: PBR became hip among hipsters because it’s cheap, but also because it’s ironic, since the beer is traditionally consumed by blue-collar people in the Midwest who couldn’t give two shits about hipsters, except to harbor a kind of low-level disdain for them. Hipsters, being clever, repurposed it as their own, and it began flying off the shelves in watering holes from Brooklyn to Echo Park.

But now, with Pabst’s decision to move their headquarters to Los Angeles, the least blue-collar place in the world — because as we all know there is nothing, nothing at all, in Los Angeles besides rich white people — hipsters have a tough decision to make.

Is Pabst still what Pabst once was? Can they continue to drink it ironically? Is it still ironic, with a new home practically next door to Selena Gomez? Or does this just mean that a “Free PBR” t-shirt needs to be made, with an image of a can of beer behind bars, and all will once again be right with the world?

Either way, I’m particularly worried for the sanity of hipsters who live in Los Angeles, who are of course now going to face a highly complex hipster conundrum. On some level, reality dictates that they acknowledge they live in Los Angeles. But if other hipsters eschew PBR, LA hipsters and hipsterettes will of course be forced to do the same, and then where will that leave them but in a massively deep k-hole of self-hatred and confusion, all while wondering what the fuck beer they should be drinking?

What a dilemma, ladies. What a dilemma indeed.

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    • haley

      So my friend and I went out to eat and she ordered a PBR. When I asked her why she ordered this particular drink (because I know she does not like beer) she replied, and i quote, “I figured I would try it because it’s what all the indie kids drink”. I. kid. you. not.

    • G

      Oh hipsters, your efforts are as futile as your beards are long.

    • Trish

      PBR is the only beer my boyfriend will buy for his house and he was so confused when I tried to make fun of him by calling him a hipster, because he didn’t know what that meant.

      He’s been drinking it for years, he just really likes it! Also, he calls it Pabst and not PBR. Which maybe the hipsters can do to reclaim it for themselves.

    • HarryPotterHater

      So typical that somebody write a post suggesting that Hipsters somehow
      invented/made PBR a popular brand. PBR was the beer of choice long
      before hipsters read the first installment of Harry Potter and it was a
      dying brand that became the beer of choice among the Alternative and
      Social Choice crowd because it was cheap and union made. Hipsters
      didn’t make PBR fashionable and they didn’t drink it before it was
      popular….like everything else they just followed another trend that
      happened before they could remember and then by ignorance and innocence
      believe that it was they and their Hogwarts ilk that “made the scene”. A
      generation of pampered coddled narcissists and none too bright….can’t
      wait to see their spawn.

    • HarryPotterHater

      And…..PBR is a contract beer produced by Miller at their factories and distributed regionally by Miller so the whole “moving to LA” issue is just a change of address for the marketing and management of the brand and has nothing to do with the production or distribution.