So it’s a grey, crappy day out in New York City, and I’ve been reading about women’s issues with food and weight all week. These things are certainly important to talk about (hence the reason we are doing it), but they can be hard to handle. All morning, I’ve had that “about to cry” feeling you get when you ponder the immensity of an issue on one of your less hopeful days, and you realize your efforts to help are but one tiny drop in the proverbial bucket labeled “Things That Need To Be Done To Fix This Messed Up World.”
So you can imagine my happiness when I got a Facebook message from a guy who’d read my post Why Is “You Look Thin” The Go-To Compliment For All Women? and had some refreshing things to say on the subject. More so than any of the guys Ashley spoke to for Real Talk: How Do Men Feel About Your Weight, he is attracted to a curvier woman, and he hates how negatively many of the girls he’s dated have been taught to feel about their bodies. To him, they are sexy and wonderful, and he wishes they felt that way.
He told me I could publish his letter, so here it is. I hope it makes you smile as much as I’m smiling right now.
Via my rad male friend:
A little insight into the other side of this issue: the unable-to-take-compliments thing is really annoying if you’re into girls being slightly “curvy”. My preferences lean towards that type – mostly in the neighborhood of the girl you pictured – and the majority of the time I’ve told girls I was involved with that I liked that they were curvier than before they reacted badly and got hung up on their body image.
Half the time you get some horrible, body-image related freak out and the other half the time you get treated like a weird fetishist for liking a pretty standard body type. It’s gotten to the point where if a girl I’m with gains five pounds and I think it looks good I don’t even want to tell them for fear of a total freak out. It’s weird and annoying.
You’re totally right, women need to better at taking compliments, and it’s crazy that they can be misconstrued or damaging even in intimate situations. Glad to know you’re okay with yourself and hopefully your piece changes some people’s minds.
Ain’t he just the greatest? The best part is, he’s not the only guy out there who thinks this way. I know true self-confidence comes from within, but it’s still nice to hear these things from a man once in a while.