Girl Disgusts World With Story About How She Boned Uncle Terry

Hello world, it’s me again, the girl who was coerced into giving a handie to Terry Richardson when she was young and stupid, and is therefore qualified to talk about the things he does to/with/on people who are currently young and stupid, forever and ever, amen.

Jane Pratt’s new website xoJane has published one girl’s account of having fully consensual, enthusiastic sex with ol’ Uncle Terry. According to her, he was “the perfect gentleman.” O RLY? Let’s take a look.

Author Caroline Marguerite starts off by talking about how she first fell for Richardson when she saw a photo in a magazine of him ostensibly having sex with a sheep, who, she believed, “was baring her splayed yellow teeth with unhinged, leering rapture.” Whether or not he was actually boning the sheep, sticking your dick in a defenseless animal is (this should go without saying) a form of animal abuse that is, justifiably, punishable by prison time. That both parties thought this was a super cool thing to do (or mime doing)  is the first red flag on this chick’s road to crazy town. She also says she was turned on by his “child molester glasses.” Again, even if he’s not actually molesting children, is “this person looks totally poised to ruin some kid’s life forever” really an attractive descriptor?

She next describes where she was at in life when she finally met Richardson at age 32. She’d lost her job and could only afford to live in L.A.’s hip Silverlake neighborhood by having a bunch of shitty roommates, like “a horny ex-Goth lesbian who threatens suicide at least twice daily.” What a stupid bitch, having mental health problems all up in her space when she was trying to concentrate on her ironic rape porn. I’m starting to understand why some people might form negative stereotypes about young, white, downwardly mobile hipster girls.

She then elicits a tiny bit of sympathy by describing the loser boyfriend she’s unable to break up with:

My boyfriend was a handsome but confused musician who had been attending Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings to remedy his obsession with the “Casual Encounters” section on Craigslist. I had to bail him out of jail after he got caught with magic mushrooms in his pocket while trying to board a plane to Reno. Then he got busted by undercover cops trying to sell cocaine at a Burger King in Echo Park. After two years together, he didn’t like to talk about “the future,” and was constantly dropping hints about “an open relationship.” Why was I clinging to this dead-end love I wondered, downing another glass of champagne.

My takeaway from this is that her self-esteem was in the toilet at this point in time. And we all know who’s attracted to girls with low self esteem. Enter Uncle Terry!

Wretched and morose, I was about to leave the party when I spied America’s favorite sheep-shagger Terry Richardson, sitting by himself.

They meet and joke a bit about animal rape, and then he’s gone. After the party, he has one of his toadies text her friend to get her number for him. The next day, tired of masturbating to puppy snuff films, no doubt, he texts her inviting her to come to his hotel room and sex him, and she does. He fucks her even though her ass is like, way fatter than those of the models he photographs, which is totally nice of him. Then she leaves. Some of the article appears to have been removed (what gives, Jane?) but the old version says they still text occasionally.

Is this seriously what passes for “gentlemanly” nowadays? Booty texting? I’m not judging her for her terrible taste in men (okay, I am a little), but she’s clearly romanticizing the whole experience when what actually occurred was 1.) girl feels bad about self, 2.) girl wants to do something dirty and degrading, like stick her head in a trash can, 3.) girl then decides to have one night stand with Terry Richardson instead. It seems to me like she’s enacting one of my worst nightmares: to think I’m writing about something cool I did, but to actually be writing about how badly I need therapy. Almost all the things she finds attractive about him are associated with exploitation of one kind or another.

Or maybe I’m wrong, and the whole thing was totally awesome and empowering for her. The story still seems like a bit of a “fuck you” to all the people who’ve been legitimately hurt by him. I know if I found out someone I’d once banged was accused of such serious, chronic sexual harassment in the workplace (and yes, his studio is a workplace for the models that agencies send over), I’d feel retroactively horrified. But then she’d be out of the cool kids’ club of fashion people who are down with Terry, making it significantly harder for her to find work in the field.

I wonder what Jane Pratt’s buddy Tavi Gevinson thinks of all this?

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    • niamh

      That whole website just seems full of girls and guys like her- hipsters who are too self-conscious to ever admit that they didn’t want to be rejected by their cool new friends.

      I mean, she had some sexytime that she enjoyed, whatever, good for her, but to write about it in a tone that suggests that anyone who wouldn’t enjoy being banged like a sheep by uncle Terry is a fool, is so short-sighted and condescending. Frick I hate girls like her.

      Y’know who I heart though, chicks like you who actually wised up during their lives. True story.

    • Anon

      I would sugest a girl who seems to be trying to make a career out of giving Terry Richardson a hand job might want to consider some therapy.

      I did really like your article about the Playboy survey.

      • Lindsay Cross

        Wow, Anon… That was so witty of you, I can’t believe that you wouldn’t attach your name to it.

        Just in case you’re wondering though, Jamie is an awesome writer who has a lot of amazing things to say about subjects other than Terry Richardson. In fact, I’ve only seen her write about him twice (though I don’t pick up everything). All you would have to do is look through The Gloss to see that Jamie has plenty to say and she says it well.

    • Daniela

      My biggest problems with the article:

      ‘Fashion photographer Terry Richardson has been accused of sexually exploiting young models. But when I allowed myself to be sexually exploited by Terry, I found him to be the perfect gentleman. ‘

      Two things:

      1) She ‘allowed [herself] to be sexually exploited by Terry’? And she found him to be ‘the perfect gentleman’? Darling, the two are mutually exclusive – someone who is sexually exploiting another person is not, and will never be, a gentleman. End of story.

      2) She was 32 years old – a far cry from the ‘young models’ Terry Richardson (from everything I’ve read) routinely exploits. A 32-year-old woman consciously deciding to have a one-night stand is a much different case than a girl in her late teens or early twenties being put in an uncomfortable situation that she can’t see any way out of.

    • Bob

      Chalk this “amazingly talented writer” up with all the other chicks who try to get back at people like Terry Richardson or Dov Charney for essentially using thier own misguided value system and bullshit dreams of access to models coke parties and social relevance against them. Save the righteous indignation for when you put your pants back on.

    • Bill

      I’m not sure which is the better role model for me – the boyfriend or the photographer. Probably the photographer.

      Why don’t I ever meet girls like this? I’m too nice?

    • Shae

      …..he banged a sheep? Or pretended to? And wasn’t investigated? I’m so confused.