Real Talk: Do You Gain Boyfriend Weight?

Brandy Alexander’s piece about dieting being difficult with a boyfriend as well as the one from a reader whose husband made her lose weight really made us think about the influence relationships have on our eating habits. We have always believed that the end goal of all relationships is “eating Chinese food in bed” so we assumed that everyone put on a few pounds when they were in a relationship. Did we assume right? Maybe, sort of!

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    • Lauren

      I lose weight just when I start dating someone. When they are small dates, like the movies, or coffee. Butterflies in my stomach take up too much room to eat. Then once it’s a relationship and the going out to dinners, and staying over eating pizza and chinese in bed starts, the weight comes back with a few extra pounds added. Also, wanting to spend time with my new guy cuts down on my exercise time (but being a Zumba instructor has helped with that recently). Once we get into a long term thing, I usually lose the extra pounds I gained during the euphoria of a new relationship haze of forgetting that vegetables and treadmills exist.

    • Eileen

      I’m more likely to gain weight while dating casually because I’m so anxious to prove to the guys that I don’t eat “like a girl” – you know, that I order a ton of food and eat all of it and I’m still thin and isn’t that awesome! But it’s hard to keep up on a regular basis, obviously, so a boyfriend is going to hear me say things like “I can’t eat that; too many calories” or “I really need to get to the gym.”

    • Sara

      I think I have always been backwards on this one. I’m most fit when I’m in a relationship. I’m more conscious of looking good for my sex life. It’s when I’m single that I skip the gym and let myself pig out a little :)

      • Teri

        I lose weight too. I workout more and honestly don’t have much of an appetite when I am seeing someone. I have always been this way.

    • anywheregirl52

      I gain weight when anything changes in my life, it seems. But for some reason, when I have a boyfriend, I’m typically at my thinnest. I think being happy makes me less likely to drown my sorrows in food, or eat because I’m stressed and feel like I need it. And I go to the gym more in a relationship because I love having the energy to do more with the guy I’m with. Unfortunately, I really like being single, haha, so I don’t often get the benefits of my relationship weight loss :-)

    • M

      I’m still with my First Real Boyfriend so I can’t say for sure if this is the pattern or not, but I have definitely gained weight in the two years we’ve been together. However, I think he is only one factor in this. We started dating right when I went back to school full-time, which is also when I started spending 30-50 hours a week on my feet, and so working out fell by the wayside. I also fell into the full-time college student no money no time trap, so I eat a lot of convenient, cheap [AKA utterly junky and delicious] food. These are probably both major factors.

      Now, on to the factors that ARE his fault: we’re long-distance during the school year [his university is a 14-hour drive away], and of course I miss him like crazy when he’s gone and so I eat my feelings. Also, he can eat a RIDICULOUS amount of food and still be constantly hungry, so when he’s home we also eat frequently. And eating with him, the unfillable void, quickly makes me lose perspective on portions. Plus he cooks amazingly delicious pasta. That bastard.

      So yes. We have both gained about thirty pounds since we started dating, but I’m only about 5’3″ and he’s about 6′ even. He already looked better than me when we met, but now he looks even betterer: even with the extra weight, he’s still all triangular and studly; about the only major change is that he’s a little thicker all over and has slightly less abs than he used to. Meanwhile, I have about the consistency of a stressball. We both hope that when we’re done with school and living in the same place and have a more consistent, less hectic schedule we’ll get some sort of workout routine down. I’ve already told him that if it seems I’m going to start to teetering into unattractive-to-him territory, he can drop ‘subtle’ hints about how we should go for walks. Or mountain hikes. Or carry blocks of granite up and down stairs. Better for him to warn me before I get unsexable, right?

    • Kat

      A boyfriend doesn’t affect my weight, the seasons do! When it’s cold out I gain10 pounds, but when it’s warm I lose my appetite and I naturally lose 20 pounds.

    • Patricia

      I usually slim down when inhave a boyfriend, át. Least in the initial Stages, I guess its all the sex. Afterwards I go back to my usual weight, and don’t really gain any, except for my last relationship, my ex not only worked in wine exporting but he was also trained as a chef, so…. Yeah, the kilos added up.

    • Aimee

      Jade,Molly: please work on ur self esteem; u should b proud of the woman u are. Concentrate on ur strengths/successes rather than ur flaws. Poppy: good answer.

    • Dove

      I’ve gained weight, and then when I try to diet my husband just goes “whatever” and three days later begs me to bake a cake.

    • Jamie

      My dude and I eat a lot of tasty food and watch a lot of movies together. We’ve both gained a little bit of weight but I’m not worried…we should be a lot more active now that the weather is nice. Also, my CSA starts soon, which means the percentage of fresh veggies in my diet is about to go way up!

    • Shae

      So, my eating habits as a single woman have been horrible. Usually black coffee for breakfast, something munchy for lunch, then I’ll eat on and off during the evening. (Something like goat cheese or the pate you get at the grocery store.) Most of these things are usually accompanied by wine.

      Now that I’m all relationshipped, he wants me to be healthy or whatever. Something about how he wants us to live long, healthy lives together. Anyway, now I’m eating three meals a day or so. But it’s much healthier stuff than I ate before. So I’m unsure as to whether or not I’ve gained weight.

    • Stesa24

      I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and I have gained about 25lbs I’d say. :( It sucks. Its the eating out for dinner, eating late, and eating bad (like wings and beer) when we are together. I had lost all this weight when we started dating and now its all back. hey, they say love is one of the top reasons women gain weight…
      I guess at least I have love :)

    • Lina

      I actually eat a lot less when I have a boyfriend. I think it’s because of my own insecurities about my weight. I usually eat 2500 calories a day because I’m pretty active, but I eat about 1000 less when I’m dating. I also loss weight my first year at college, and continued to lose weight. My reduced appetite is probably more stress and not making time to eat than insecurities, but I think the latter reinforces the change in lifestyle when I have a boyfriend. Not that my boyfriend stresses me out, but it’s a serious commitment and life change, which are usually stressful.