• Mon, May 23 2011

Outer Beauty: I Have A Butt Like A Nerf Ball

I remember the first time someone complimented my ass.

It was my eighth grade crush, and we were at the mall, and I was wearing overalls, of all fucking things. He and his best friend were walking behind me and MY best friend, and apropos of nothing I heard “Rachel got a FAT ass; got a phatty-bangin!’ It was the ultimate compliment in the late nineties, when J-Lo’s music career was just taking off and everything ghetto-fabulous was becoming in vogue. I hadn’t given my bum much thought at that point, but in the years that followed (and to this day), I became increasingly aware that it was my ultimate “asset.” It’s high and plump and, as one guy put it, “like a nerf ball.” It maintains it’s shape and texture no matter how many pounds I gain or lose while remaining totally proportional.

It’s not really muscle or fat, I explained to one boyfriend, it’s just “all booty.” I’m thinking I might pick up a squat regimen as I enter my late twenties (gravity is a real thing!), but I’ve always been really happy with my rear, and expect to be for a long while. Until I have to choose my face, or however that cliche goes.

This came to us courtesy of a reader for Outer Beauty week. If you have a body part you love and want to share – in 600 -800 words – write us at Jennifer [at] thegloss.com or Ashley [at] thegloss.com.


From Our Partners

Share This Post:
  • Megan

    The sentiment is fabulous. I have a nonexistent butt–and no, I don’t hate my body, I just wish I didn’t need a belt for decency’s sake.

    Also, “You can’t hurt babies or old people” is cracking me up. That’s fucking funny.