Last week, we made some suggestions about items of clothing that aren’t worth over $100. While we didn’t outright name “anything from Urban Outfitters,” we admit to implicating the store by using a picture of it to illustrate our point about anything hyper-uber trendy.
Well, now I think I’m just going to come out and say it: Urban Outfitters seeks to violate you via your wallet, and we now have proof, courtesy of this picture posted at boingboing of a fucking $5 package of ramen.
Where to begin? First of all, I know that a lot of people refer, misty-eyed, to their misspent college years by talking fondly about all the ramen they used to eat. But…that shit really happened, and it happened in college — and often in the year or two following it — because at that time a lot of people can’t really afford to eat meals that costs more than $0.99 a pop. At the time it’s sort of amusing, but it’s also sort of a necessity.
This makes me think that a bunch of high school kids overheard some people in their 20s making jokes about ramen, thought it was cool, and went to Urban Outfitters looking for it. Upon hearing the demands of this pack of rabid pre-hipsters, complete with their parents’ credit cards, buyers for Urban Outfitters saw their chance to pounce, called up corporate headquarters and told them to send an intern to the 99 cent store to buy all the ramen, and in the meantime develop packaging that would make young folk believe that they were doing something cool and subversive because their food product had the word “shit” on it.
I say this because I hope to God that nobody over the age of 17 is buying this, knowing, as we do, that ramen should not cost more than $0.99. If you need an overpriced and ironic package of ramen noodles to make you feel like you are part of a cool subculture…well, my friend, godspeed, and good luck.