• Tue, May 31 2011

Real Talk: Men Tell Us What They Think Of Threesomes

We talked to 10 guys about threeway sex–how was it? Did you learn anything? If you haven’t had a threesome, was it for lack of trying or otherwise? We figured the universal male response would be, “Yes, they are great,” but it’s slightly more complicated than that. Read on if you dare, but be warned: the discussion gets graphic in places. To balance out the illicit nature of the slides, I’ve used images of adorable baby animals to cleanse your heart.

(The photo of the dogs come via Flickr user Name on Rice)

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  • sarah

    You know what I need to start doing? Taking relationship advice from dudes who work in porn.

  • Jo

    Is it bad that I don’t know what DP is?

    • Eileen

      DP = Double Penetration.

    • Dawn

      thanks for clearing that up, I was about to urbandictionary it

  • Matt Langer

    Chris’ Del Taco joke (betraying his southern California geography) is how you can be reasonably confident he actually works in porn.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      it’s not like he could say ‘in-n-out.’ working there is actually like participating in a constant, 24-hour threeway.

  • Hacim

    Hmm, interesting. I’d just been thinking either today or yesterday that two girls in college (probably seven years ago) had been scheming to get me into a three-way and invited me over to watch an absolutely horrible movie, with me sitting between them for two hours of high school cheerleader antics. This memory flashed through my mind with a large pang of regret. However, my sense is that I regret not being able to say that I had a threesome more than I actually regretting not having had a threesome. How’s that for socialization?

    It was a rough year for me that year–I can get women, but it was one of those down times where you always think that girls aren’t interested, even if they’re sending up a booty signal flare (this happens to other people, right?). Anyhow, I probably talked myself into a state of mind that was “if that’s really what’s happening here, one of them would have pulled the trigger, so you probably just should sit here and watch ‘Bring it On.’”

    For what it’s worth ….

  • http://bigapplepants.com sarahnoid

    I hope you’re gonna do a chick version of this too. Cos frankly, I’m too ADD to handle threesomes. I get all confused when the genitals change up on me.

  • Eileen

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I want to do a threesome, but I want to be the third.

    • http://bigapplepants.com sarahnoid

      That’s the only way to ever go about it. Ever.

  • M

    My boyfriend wants to try an MMF threesome. It basically falls in with Doug’s answer: he’s done FFM and it was a lot of work, so he wants to see if the two straight guy threesome is a quarter as much effort. His two straight chick threesome was in high school and the problem is the girls were, deep down, straight. They were drunk and in high school enough to think they were going to experiment, but once they were all in bed together they would. Not. Help each other out at all. So he had to do everything, and whoever wasn’t getting more attention would get all needy, and he felt like it was way more trouble than it was worth.

    To be honest I would go for either the two guy or two girl threesome depending on the third, but the only one who I’ve really heavily considered is a friend of both of ours. She is also bisexual, and we are both attracted to her and she’s attracted to both of us, but she is also the younger sister of another friend of ours. And I think he would get really mad at us if we sexed up his baby sister. My boyfriend has been [semi-jokingly] trying to get him to step up and be a third too, and when they were younger and it was purely hypothetical they used to joke about the possibility [consensus: 'As long as our junk doesn't touch, it's not gay'], but now that I actually exist as a human female and not some theoretical fill-in-the-blank chick he’s chickened out. His unwillingness to have a threesome with me is a constant running joke at school though, since we’re in the same program. Plus my boyfriend can get a little jealous; much less than the average guy, considering most of my friends are guys and we grope each other or pick each other up and shake each other and pretend to hump each other and all that kind of crap that goes on at trade school when there’s 70 guys and four girls in the program and he’s fine with that, but the idea that I would want to have sex with someone besides him does start making him get a little puppy-dog sad. He’s not possessive [which usually goes hand in hand with jealousy], he just wants me to want to be with him. Which I can understand because I want him to want to be with me too, I just don’t mind if he also wants to put his dick in other people so long as he stays safe and wants to come home to me after. And that mindset is probably why, in the end, I would be more comfortable with actually having a threesome together and not getting hung up on it than he would.

  • Jamie Peck

    FTR, “Chris” is a buddy of mine and he’s in a very happy relationship of several years with a lovely lady. And yes, they have threesomes. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care if he’s anonymous, but I’ll respect the format.

  • Dove

    I’ve mentioned it to my husband but even when we were more casually dating he wasn’t interested. He just wants me. Le sigh, it’s a hard life.

    I have to say I’m curious but I’m happy to leave this alone. At least until our sex life gets stale, and considering we’re 9 years in that doesn’t seem to be anytime soon…

  • breezy

    Not as much variety as the usual real talk. I feel like most everyone surveyed was alllll about a threesome, but I don’t think that’s an accurate representation of the male population. Maybe it is.

    I’ve offered to have a FFM with my now-husband, but he literally has no interest. Maybe due to the extreme anxiety he associates with the concept. Maybe because he’s extra traditional and sweet and doesn’t really want to share me with anyone. Either way, I do think it’s a little strange that he won’t even consider it.

  • Dove

    Editors – I hate to be this girl but there are a couple of bad mistakes.

    Under “Chris” it should be they’re not their as in “they are ruining it for the rest of us.”

    Under Bud it should be than not then.

    Sorry, but those are mistakes that are kind of annoying when it’s an old high school friend on facebook, and really annoying on a really well written blog.

  • Kat

    That picture of the three dogs getting it on made me practically pee my pants with laughter!

  • Hanna

    I think I’d like to try a threesome with two guys but not those extremely homophobic ones. How can you have fun if those guys are constantly taking care no part of their bodies will touch? I do have this little fantasy where I meet two good friends in a bar and then it’s all about me, the whole night. Ach, that would be nice.
    I think I wouldn’t be into FFM, if I ever was to try something with a girl I would want to have her on my own.
    Doing either of those things in a relationship is out of question for me. It will be far too messy with all those feelings involved. Right now I am single and kind of getting it all out of my system which is incredible fun. I have this hope that at some point I will be ready for a serious relationship and not in need of trying something I might have missed out on or “spicing up” my sex life. A girl can dream…

  • uhygtr yutre

    For me, a threesome (or 4-some, or even 5-some) is fun if I can put all the girls in a kneeling position and go down the line, effing each one a little bit, and then moving on.

    Or, if they all sit on the couch with their legs spread, and get oral sex from me, a little at a time, until they are all ready to climax.

    Or, if they all are getting their asses paddled.

    Or, if the other women use strap-ons and gang up on one girl.

    Or, if they all put their mouths and hands on me.

    Or, ….

    I can think of a million more fun things, but you get the picture, huh?