• Tue, Jun 7 2011

How To Cuddle All Night Without Your Arm Falling Asleep

I once dated someone, and fell asleep laying on his arm. “Oh, no,” I said, ‘I’m going to cut off the circulation in your arm.”

“Careful,” he replied, “I think Sloane Crosley has that phrase copyrighted for her 17th book.”

Sloane Crosely’s 17th book “I’m Going To Cut Off The Circulation In Your Arm” will seem irrelevant after you read this guide, illustrated with my badly drawn stick figures. You’ll never lose circulation again!

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  • Eileen

    The under-neck sounds hideously uncomfortable for both people. I think this is when you say, “I love you so much that I’m going to allow you to breathe (/not raise your hands awkwardly above your head in a very tight position) all night long.”

  • Corporate Tool

    I like to call the under neck “why must you fuck up my pillow!?!”

    Also, an alternative to the classic is to extend your arm into “the spear.”

    • Katherine

      “Corporate Tool”, your comment was totally hilarious & I laughed out loud each time I read it, which was like 3 times!!! Thanks for the funniest comment posted! That’s all…

  • Shae

    …..I’m inspired to attempt the clever cat tonight. Only worry is that fiance will become inspired to attempt it when I’m not paying attention.

  • Jenny

    I don’t understand why people would want to cuddle while sleeping. If I am asleep I am unaware of the cuddling because I am sleeping, and I will probably wake up with a messed up neck for sleeping weird.
    In my opinion, snuggling is best left for early morning hours before waking up fully. Then you have the option of getting up for breakfast when it gets uncomfortable. And being a clever cat in the early morning hours almost always leads to sex, which is a plus.

  • Steph

    I don’t think I understand why someone would try the under neck. I don’t want to accidentally strangle my fiancé while sleeping. Also, the heart one looks like the female had an unfortunate accident.

  • maru

    the only reason for me to have my hands on someone’s back is to push them outta my bed, to be honest. “the wall” technique sounds absolutely strange to me. OTL

  • Paige V.I.

    I love the under the neck… it’s like a little cave my boyfriend’s arm fits through! my neck isn’t touching the pillow there anyways, and it lets the spoonings be so much easier! and the clever cat was the only way i could sleep at all when i had a SERIOUS fever right before finals… i was the cat in that situation. inconclusive.
    great pictures.
    better.

  • M

    Leg snuggle [sans period-looking accident] works well for my boyfriend and I, but only if my leg is on top. One night he fell asleep and then rolled over so we were in that position [with his arm around my waist too], and it was cozy and wonderful except for the fact that within about ten minutes I had lost all sensation in my leg below his thunder thigh. I tried to roll him off and he went ‘Hmmmmmm’ and snuggled his face deeper into my side-boob. No luck. Then I tried farting on his leg, and he just smiled and nodded in his sleep. Which made me laugh, which made him smile and nod again. Eventually I poked him over and over until he shifted and I freed my leg and sought by my revenge by swinging it over the top. Winner!

  • Daantaat

    My boyfriend and I sleep side by side and hold hands while we fall asleep. It’s nice because we are still touching each other but neither of us puts our weight on the other person. Until the middle of the night when he invariably rolls towards me and covers me with his leg and his arm and puts his nose on the nape of my neck. It wakes me up but I fall back to sleep quickly. Luckily for me I’m bigger than he is by about 40 pounds so his body weight really has no effect on me. If it were the other way around I’m afraid I’d suffocate him.

    • joesmith

      boyfriend uses weight! its not very effective…

  • Thagenral

    You’re all missing one extremely spectacular move. The under-the-pillow-under-the-neck. The crème de la crème of snuggle techniques. Maximum snuggle, minimum dead/dead head arm due to soft pillow, hard skull separation. Start by having a long pillow, not like a body pillow, but a regular pillow, slightly elongated. Lay down on your side on said pillow (for visualization purposes, lay on your right side), and slip your right arm under the pillow. Have your partner lay on the same pillow, facing away (little spoon). They too can slip their arm under the pillow-or not-and you drape your other arm (left) over their torso aaannnnd Boom! goes the dynamite.

    Great for:
    Guys with short girlfriends,
    Girls with short hair
    Morning sex initiation (see free left arm).

  • Mr.Anonimous

    ok… since none of you mentioned anything about it, i’m going to add shed some light into this.

    When you cut the circulation of the arm is because you are pressing against the Basilic Vein ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basilic_vein ) which is the one that irrigates the hands and forearms. it is a large superficial vein located in the inner side of the arm, between the biceps and the triceps.

    the solution is simple, though. when you slide your arm under the head or torso of your partner, try to have the hand facing down. that is, with the thumb pointing towards your feet. that way you have a cushion of muscle and bone to support the weight of your partner.
    it might be hard at first, but the more you do it conciously and get used to that position, the more likely you will do it while asleep :)

  • Joe

    OMG! THIS IS LIKE SERIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP COUGH DROP!!!! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!

  • joesmith

    hahahahahhahahaha the last one…