Seven Gifts To Get Your Seven-Year-Old That Are Better Than A Boob Job

Self-professed plastic surgery addict and “human Barbie” Sarah Burge is back in the headlines today for giving her seven-year-old child breast implants for her birthday. (Don’t worry, they’re for when she’s older and more mature legally allowed, i.e. when she turns sixteen.) She’s already catching quite a bit of flack for this decision (lord knows why!), so to help her out in the future, I’ve compiled a list of seven things she might consider purchasing for her daughter instead.

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    • mchuge

      What, no new translation of Brothers Karamazov? Srsly tho, good list. My snark was probably inspired by your inclusion of Infinite Jest.