Self-professed plastic surgery addict and “human Barbie” Sarah Burge is back in the headlines today for giving her seven-year-old child breast implants for her birthday. (Don’t worry, they’re for when she’s
older and more mature legally allowed, i.e. when she turns sixteen.) She’s already catching quite a bit of flack for this decision (lord knows why!), so to help her out in the future, I’ve compiled a list of seven things she might consider purchasing for her daughter instead.