• Thu, Jun 9 2011

Real Talk: How Do Women Know They’re In Love

Reese Witherspoon’s character couldn’t tell if she was in love. That was dumb. Here’s how you know.

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  • Jen

    In the early days of our relationship before we got married, my husband and I used to spend a lot of time lounging around, listening to music, sometimes talking but more often just gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes. On one of these occasions I found myself thinking, “Whoa, I’m totally in love with this guy. I want to tell him. DON’T TELL HIM! He’ll freak out and leave. But I want to tell him! Should I tell him? Aaaah!” Basically like that. And then outta the blue he says, “I love you, too.”

    We’ve been married 22 years. Sometimes I want to kill him, but mostly it’s been pretty cool.

    • andrea dunlop

      Aw! And yes, I know this internal dialog.

    • Gypsy

      Jen – that is what happened with my ex (weird story, but we still love each other, just can’t be “together” right now) – but one day, he just looked at me as we were laying on the couch together and said, “I love you, too” – and it was the best first time anyone has ever told me they loved me.

  • andrea dunlop

    Re: Felicia– that’s how I’ve known in the past. The moment it feels like a lie of omission not to say it. When the words eat you up if you don’t speak them.

  • Isabel

    Eleanor: word.

  • S


    This is the way I feel about my husband. We’ve been married for 8 years and it is the most fun and awesome. Don’t over think it. Being married to your best friend that you think is hot is how it’s supposed to be. It’s the ideal.

  • Lisa

    Useful article! I want more of this!

  • Kellie

    I’m with Eleanor, stuck in that perpetual half-friend/half-lover spot. It’s comfortable, but I’m not sure how to define it. He just wants to be friends but still do all this stuff. I don’t know, I’m chillin, I guess.

  • a guy

    awwwww… “I guess the best way to put it is that I knew because not saying ‘I love you’ felt like a lie.”

    • OL

      See more careful with the words “I love you. ” We are responsible for those who are tame.
      Man is not Chamomile, today I love you, tomorrow I will no longer love.
      Good men make women happy, and bad, strong.

  • Michelle

    I knew I loved my fiance after we survived the ugliest time in our relationship and still wanted to be together.

    It’s easy to love someone when things are peachy, but you know the love will last if you an make it through the really rough times!

    • Jen

      Yes. And there WILL be rough times.

  • Anonymous

    Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin – it’s the triumphant twang of a bedspring. – S. J. Perelman

    Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/s_j_perelman.html#ixzz1OycPYL72

    Either that or love is anything about which can be spoken, “He’s so . . .”, and makes you dripping wet.

  • Indrea

    I feel the same as one of the replyers. When u can tell the person the words “I love u” and not feepl like ur tellin a lie, or about 2 throw it up!, it may just be!… Love!