• Wed, Jun 15 2011

Try To Imagine The Coolest Hat You Can. Then Click This Post.

Oh, no, sorry, whatever you imagined was wrong. Totally just horribly wrong. The coolest hat is this one. See how it has an iPad on it? She’s wearing an iPad on her head at Ascot. This lady is winning at everything, and knows precisely where her iPad is in case she needs to check her e-mails!

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  • August S.

    Related i-accessory story:

    I am 14 years old. All I want in the word, in LIFE ITSELF, is an iPod… although breasts would’ve been nice too, also maybe a car? But mostly an iPod, because it was both highly desirable and (I thought) attainable. So Christmas rolls around, and I’ve dropped extremely subtle hints to my father about my ideal Xmas gift (“Dad, I’d like an iPod please. Thank you.”). I go to the tree, look for the professionally wrapped gift (the man outsources like a champ), rip it open and find…

    Oakley MP3 Sunglasses. MEN’S Oakley MP3 Sunglasses that made me look like Robocop’s retarded little sister. They kept falling off one ear because a)the enormous and tumor-like earbud caused a general starboard list, and b)they were meant for 45-year-old rock-climber men with rock-climber-men-sized heads.

    I sat in stunned disbelief as he explained that they were better because they were also sunglasses! (Perhaps he felt he had to explain this because the joy of receiving such an amazing gift would have struck me blind. Although if I were blind I wouldn’t need f*cking sunglasses, would I Dad?) I muttered something in the general vicinity of “wow, thanks” then ran upstairs to blog on my Xanga about how hard my life was and how no one understood me. I probably wrote a poem about it.

    Anyway, what I’m trying to say is not all multimedia fashion products are cool, so don’t generalize and buy your children terrible, terrible accessories.

    • August S.

      These are the updated version that I found on Oakley’s site: http://bit.ly/lzs26L , aka every 14 year old girl’s dream gift.

  • Steph

    Is it sad that I pictured Princess Beatrice’s hat?