Which $1000 Beauty Product Is Right For You?

Are you currently lighting hundred dollar bills on fire because you like how Ben Franklin’s face gets all crackly? Crackle, crackle, Benji! Crackle your little wig! I think I went to a weird place there, also, I am poor, now. Anyhow, if that’s something you do, too, maybe you should also be buying the $1,000 wrinkles creams featured in New Beauty (print). But which one? Which goddamn one? I will help you.

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    • August S.

      I don’t have to go through this slideshow to pick the best ridiculous face cream. To quote one of my personal heros, Ms. Lindsay Bluth:
      There’s a cream with real diamonds in it…I can actually smear diamonds on my face, and it’s only $400 a tub! That’s like, what? A million diamonds for $400? A million f*cking diamonds, Michael!