Rikers Island Forcing Female Visitors To Stop Dressing Like Harlots

Going to visit your incarcerated lover? Not dressed like that, you aren’t! At least, not in New York. In an effort to de-sexify the visiting room environment, infamous prison Rikers Island has begun enforcing a ban on  provocative clothing that applies to all visitors, . “These regulations are intended to ensure the safety and well-being of the inmate population, [Correction Department] staff and visitors,” department spokeswoman Sharman Stein told the New York Daily News. Safety from boners, that is.

They instituted the policy after jail supervisors noticed that female visitors were looking increasingly slatternly. They even caught a few couples getting handsy with each other in front of children in the visiting room. Won’t somebody please think of the children?!

While some people might think the solution to this problem is to treat the prisoners like human beings and let them visit with their lady friends, uh, properly, this is the U.S. prison system we’re talking about here. Why do that when you could just throw a giant green muumuu over the slutty female visitors? (Who, I should remind you, have not committed any crimes and are not breaking any laws by dressing sexily.) I am not making this up. Via the NYDN:

“I have to wear what?” the incredulous woman asked when a correction officer trotted out with her T-shirt. “You’re just trying to make me look bad in front of my man.” Then, as she reluctantly donned the shirt, she loudly complained about the time she spent fixing her makeup and hair. “Why’d I even bother?” she asked repeatedly.

This kind of bums me out, because seeing his lady friend done up all special just for him might be the best part of an inmate’s day or week. Then again, it probably sucks for the other prisoners to have to see scantily clad ladies at a time in their lives when they’re not allowed to mingle with the opposite sex. Seems like it just adds insult to injury.

Perhaps the only unequivocally positive thing to come out of this development is that Rikers has decided that leggings are not pants. At least they got that right.

Share This Post:
    • Alanna

      I don’t think it’s particularly right that they would force visitors to wear XXL t-shirts, BUT it is prison and you are an inmate/felon and you don’t have any rights to see your lady friend dressed sexy because you broke the law. So I think it’s okay.

    • Bentia

      I’m against conjugal visits for inmates period, you break the law then it’s no nooky for you. The problem here is that this is just another case of blaming women for men’s bad behavior and that pisses me off to no end.

      • Anna Hilda

        No, it’s not. It’s not blaming anyone for anything. I know it’s a feminist meme that women always dress for themselves and never for men. I know it’s another feminist meme that men will get grabby no matter what a woman wears. While this is certainly true about a certain class of molesters and rapists, most regular men are going to be more turned on by some items of clothing (e.g., a short skirt over spandex leggings) than others (e.g., “a giant green mumu [sic]”). It seems obvious to me that some of these women want to give their men a thrill—and perhaps also to inspire a moment of consensual, but nevertheless illicit, physical passion—and have been dressing for their visits accordingly.

        On a purely human level, I can’t say I blame them (for anything other than their apparently terrible taste in men, that is), but for reasons that are obvious to any thinking person sexual activity is unacceptable in the context of a non-conjugal prison visit where there may be children underfoot and for which there may be “no touching” rules intended to 1) prevent the smuggling of contraband and 2) ensure the safety of visitors, prisoners, and guards alike. I therefore think it’s fair and even prudent for the authorities to try to unsex the situation a little bit.

    • Abigail

      Personally, I think the whole thing is ridiculous, because these are people who have commited horrible, often violent crimes, and we’re sitting around worrying about whether or not they get to stare at a girl’s boobs or not. I think prisoners have it WAY too easy, and are given WAY too many liberties. There have been thousands of accounts of homeless people in colder areas committing small crimes just to get IN to prison, so they have somewhere warm to sleep. That says something, if they would rather be in prison than out. And why wouldn’t you? You have free healthcare, free education, free food, free exercise equipment, and free boarding, all at the expense of the Amercan taxpayer. If the worst thing that happens is they can’t stare at a girl’s ass during visitation, I’m okay with that.